You gotta keep the devil way down in the hole.

When you walk through the garden
You gotta watch your back
Well I beg your pardon
Walk the straight and narrow track
If you walk with Jesus
He's gonna save your soul
You gotta keep the devil
Way down in the hole
He's got the fire and the fury
At his command
Well you don't have to worry
If you hold on to Jesus hand
We'll all be safe from Satan
When the thunder rolls
Just gotta help me keep the devil
Way down in the hole
All the angels sing about Jesus' mighty sword
And they'll shield you with their wings
And keep you close to the lord
Don't pay heed to temptation
For his hands are so cold
You gotta help me keep the devil
Way down in the hole

"Way Down in the Hole" - Tom Waits

It all started years ago when we first heard the phrase "This is the story of seven strangers picked to live in a house..."

From that point on, the lines between reality and fantasy have been blurred. Blurred to the point now where it's sometimes hard to tell where the entertainment ends and the real life begins. I have two issues here that I want to talk about - one somewhat trivial compared to the other.



Now first off, I'm personally insulted that MTV has gone 13 years with this program, and has yet to do a season in my fair city. Key West? Are you serious? After the season in New Orleans, I was sure a season in Atlanta wouldn't be too far behind. Anyway, I'm too old for this somewhat cliched show that has ironically lost touch with what is indeed "real", so don't think that I am lobbying just so I can get some face time on cable TV. What has me disappointed with what was one of my favorite TV shows is that the formula is exactly the same year in and year out, save for some ethnic pieces of the puzzle to be finalized. While I am sure the "hookups" and the standard racial, sexual orientation, religious arguments are quite enlightening and entertaining to the average 17 year-old, it is quite boring for me. "The Real World" has lost it's relevance in my opinion, as they don't cast "real" people anymore. I'm willing to bet that all of the people on the current cast have closet TV and movie aspirations that they are hiding until the end of this season. Reality TV has become a new outlet for stardom, and has taken away the sincerity of the project. Granted, almost everyone that has been a part of this show has taken full advantage of their 15 minutes, but I really wish there were more Kevin Powell's to be produced from this experience than Teck $ or "The Miz", although they are doing what they ultimately wanted to do - can't knock the hustle, right?

Anyway, sorry for what looks like a mini-rant. There's only so many "night-vision" bedroom scenes, and 21 year old's yelling "you don't know anything about me" I can stand. Think of something else. Or at least come to the ATL so I can be entertained again.

OK, second item on my agenda...



Another example of life imitating fantasy... or is it the other way around? It's not quite the exact same thing, but a police informant on "The Wire" calls the police and reports a drug deal going down with a African American minister - the police promptly track him down and ransack his car and find nothing. The informant was lying because he was upset he wasn't getting any help for his "informing."

Turn off HBO and turn on the news... right here in Atlanta, a 92-year old woman allegedly shoots three police officers, and they promptly kill her. I won't even get started on the latest shoot-em-up fiasco in New York (another reason I don't want to live there). The woman's funeral was this past Wednesday, and the investigation is in full effect. Just some thoughts:

• How does a 92-year old woman get three shots off before the police do anything?
• How does a 92-year old woman that uses a cane to walk get three shots off before the police do anything (it was announced today that she used a cane)?
• It was common knowledge to the neighborhood residents that the house next door to her and behind her were drug houses. Why doesn't the police know this?
  

It's just amazing to me how this happens literally the day after a similar event happens on a fictional TV program. I am happy with how Shirley Franklin and Richard Pennington have responded by calling in the FBI and GBI for an investigation, instead of covering up their tracks like they are doing in New York.


Turn off the boob-tube, and pick up a book.

What a difference a year makes...

Your everlasting summer
You can see it fading fast
So you grab a piece of something
That you think is gonna last
You wouldnt know a diamond
If you held it in your hand
The things you think are precious
I cant understand

Chorus:
Are you reelin in the years
Stowin away the time
Are you gatherin up the tears
Have you had enough of mine

You been tellin me youre a genius
Since you were seventeen
In all the time Ive known you
I still dont know what you mean
The weekend at the college
Didnt turn out like you planned
The things that pass for knowledge
I cant understand

Chorus

I spend a lot of money
And I spent a lot of time
The trip we made in hollywood
Is etched upon my mind
After all the things weve done and seen
You find another man
The things you think are useless
I cant understand

Chorus

"Reelin in the Years" - Steely Dan


Well, it's official. The 2nd decade of my life is in the books, and the one blaring difference is how different October 4, 2006 was from October 4, 2005. Things didn't go exactly to plan as usual, but one thing that I have picked up over the past year is that when you make plans or have expectations, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed.

In case you don't want to rehash the past, last year I was dumped by someone that I truly thought the world of and was making strides to change to make her happy. When I thought I was getting a gift from her, she sent me the watch I left at her place instead. Still bitter? Yeah, a little. I imagine there will always be a part of me pissed of at her, just as I still hold grudges about a few choice points in my life.

The difference this year is that I got an unexpected delivery - this time flowers. You can only imagine the surprise on my face as the delivery woman handed them to me at the front door. With a note apologizing for not being able to complete our planned visit. It's truly amazing what lessons you learn from your past so that you will be prepared for what is forthcoming. There are some things that I regret, but who out there doesn't have a regret or two? I just wish that there were some lessons you could learn without going through the motions and the hurt involved with it.

Well, as my late grandmother always told me, "Ain't no sense like bought sense." That one still holds true, and always will. Age doesn't matter on that one.

Anyway, the 30's have started... let me say thanks to everyone that sent me voicemails, text pages, etc. yesterday. To the sender of those beautful flowers... the best if yet to come for us - you've made me look forward to October 4th again. I just hope I can reciprocate in 2 months and 5 days...

Time's a wastin...

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin
and ain't no tellin where you'll land

Run baby, run, run
Where you runnin to?
And who you runnin from?
Some people may not understand
What it means to be a man
Takin' full command
Cause we're

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin
and ain't no tellin where you'll land

Sweet love and sunshine
If it's all in the air
Then it's all on your mind
Breathe baby
Come back to the world
Dig up all your pearls
Teach the boys and girls, hey

Livin in a world that's oh so strange
Boy don't let your focus change
Takin out the demons in your range, hey
Livin in a world that's oh so fast
Gotta make your money last
Learn from the past, oh

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin
and ain't no tellin where you'll land

Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile
Oh baby we need to smile

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Time's a wastin
Don't you take your time young man
Keep on driftin
and ain't no tellin where you'll land

Ain't no tellin, oh, oh...

“Time’s a Wastin” – Erykah Badu

A little under two weeks and I’ll be 30. Yeah, I’m thinking about it some more. Nothing too serious, just being a little introspective. What am I doing with my life? What have I done maybe would be a bit more accurate. Am I spinning my wheels and not going anywhere, or is that next goal really within my reach? I would like to think that I am on course headed to the next phase of my life, but the thought has to enter my mind occasionally if I am only drifting, with no idea where I am going to land.

30 years
10,957 days
1,565 weeks
262,968 hours
15,778,080 minutes
946,684,800 seconds.

That’s a long time. I can’t help but think about some of my good friends that didn’t get the chance to accumulate those numbers. I have been and will remain grateful for the life that I have lived thus far, never taking anything for granted. Always understanding that things, circumstances, and people all come into your life for a reason. Never pushing for a result before its time – having patience to understand that it will happen when you are ready for it to happen and not one second before. People (myself included) have been too quick to do this, or do that, and end up hurting yourself in the end for the sake of having that car, living in that house, etc. and I no longer have the desire to try keeping up with the Jones’, the Comb’s or anyone else out there claiming to have set the standard to live by.

I set my own standards. I think that I’ve been around long enough to know what I want at this point. Be it considered weird by some people, and refreshing by others, it doesn’t matter anyway you cut it. It’s what has worked for me for almost 262,968 hours, and not to toot my own horn, but things have worked out fairly well for me, save a few unhealthy grudges. No control issues in my relationships. No overly hypocritical views about religion or politics. Living in the city that I love, and loving the city that I’m living in. Cooler than Freddie Jackson sippin on a milkshake in a snowstorm. Cooler than a Polar Bear’s toenails. Saddled up, locked, and loaded for decade number three. Ready or not, here I come. Not letting my focus change, takin out the demons in my range. Most certainly still learning from my past.

LIBERTAD…

Beware of the ATM Line Bandit.

It's 3:55pm. Wachovia will post your deposits at the ATM on the same day if you do it by 4 pm. I leave work early so I can make this deposit - didn't go to lunch to boot. I get to the drive-in, and this jack-ass come running up to the ATM and walks in front of my car to go the ATM.

I blow my horn at him.

"I was here first!" the idiot barks back at me, sounding almost like Archie Bunker.

The bastard then proceeds to do three different transactions with three different ATM cards.

It took every ounce of by being not to just run him over. I put the car in gear... even revved the engine a little bit.

Good thing for him the consequences outweighed the pleasure and benefits of feeling my Goodyears run over his fat, nasty, inconsiderate self. He must be from up north. I also think being able to take this picture also made me feel a little better... please know that I am going to post it everywhere I can think of.

Turns out there weren't any envelopes at the ATM anyway - unless the old geezer took them all when I wasn't looking. Anyway, if you see him coming, watch your back.

The Wilson Doctrine

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say its a crazy scheme
This ones for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

Chorus:
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind

I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home

Chorus

This is the night
Of the expanding the man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I'll be what I want to be

Chorus

"Deacon Blues" - Steely Dan

Perhaps the realization that my 30th birthday is right around the corner has sparked yet another reflection on my life and times, or maybe it's just Wednesday. Who knows. Today's post may end up being totally contradicting of itself by the time I finish, but oh well. With apologies to my Fifth grade teacher, I currently have no desires to run for President of these United States, so I may flip-flop a bit. As I enter my third decade of existence, there are certain things based on past experience that I will from now on choose not to indulge anymore. Look at it as my own Monroe Doctrine or personal foreign policy if you will.

1. Drama is not something that I aspire to produce or be a part of. I may have attended a school that has a Performing Arts magnet program, but my life is personal, private, and simple. I have no desire for creating an uproar about every little problem or issue in my life. All I really want is to be happy. Only I can make that happen, so there's really no point in worrying the rest of the world about my issues.

2. Your car, your title, your degree, your bank account, etc. do not impress me. If this is something that you feel you must flaunt in front of me all the time, it only makes me think you're trying to overcompensate for other shortcomings... eventually I find them - usually a lot faster than the average idiot you run into on the street.

3. I will go to Waffle House and get a order scrambled with sausage for dinner way before I will go to whatever fancy-spancy restaurant so I can be "seen". At least I know I will go home on a full stomach.

4. New Yorkers are hereby eliminated from consideration for serious dating. I love to visit the city, and I hate to lop off a major part of the population... but it is what it is... I'm just too country for you city-girls apparently. I will wear my overalls when I want to, and there's nothing you can do about it.

5. While I'm eliminating people from consideration for serious dating... all members of a certain African American sorority are hereby eliminated. No need to stir up trouble here - but if it comes up and I find out you belong to that sorority, please don't take it personal. I'm just done trying to make it work out. We fundamentally don't get along for some reason, and I'm done trying to figure it out.

6. Volkswagens rule. No need to comment on this.

7. My musical tastes will forever include far more than what is played on V-103, Kiss 104, Hot 107.9, 102.5, and Praise 97.5. If I want to blast Maroon 5 in my car with the windows down, please find something better to do with your time than look at me with disgust as if I've sold out to the man or something. My blackness will never be in question. Your ignorance will.

8. I do not intend to go to church every Sunday. I am secure in my personal relationship with God first and foremost. Until I find a place that I feel doesn't have a hidden agenda, or is trying to entertain me on Sunday morning with a light show and interpretive dance, etc., I will be more than happy to spend my time with myself and the good book, or whatever material I choose. If you can't respect that, what kind of Christian does that make you?

9. Road-trips are a way of life. If I have the time and ability to drive, I will. You will die when it's your time to go, but what if you're on the plane, and it's the pilot's time to go?

10. I love myself. If I don't why should anyone else?

That's it in a nutshell. Perhaps I will amend this doctrine as time goes by, but here are some basic principles that I have adopted and have guided me to where I am right now. I am not going to let someone pigeonhole me into what their image of what they want me to be. It's far too late for the shaping and moulding part of my life, and you wouldn't have made it past my parents even if you tried. So take it or leave it - the ride is taking off for the next stop soon, space is limited, so decide if you're still down for the experience.

Unitil next time...

“That Girl”… or maybe we should change it to “That Dude” or something…

That girl thinks that she’s so fine
That soon she’ll have my mind
That girl thinks that she’s so smart
That soon she’ll have my heart
She thinks in no time flat
That she’ll be free and clear to start
With her emotional rescue of love that you’ll leave turn apart

That girl thinks that she’s so bad
She’ll change my tears from joy to sad
She says she keeps the upper hand
cause she can please her man
She doesn’t use her love to make him weak
She uses love to keep him strong
And inside me there’s no room for doubt
That it won’t be too long

Before I tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

I’ve been hurting for a long time
And you’ve been playing for a long time
You know it’s true
I’ve been holding for a long time
And you’ve been running for a long time
It’s time to do what we have to do
That girl, that girl

That girl knows every single man
Would ask her for her hand
But she says her love is much too deep
For them to understand
She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word

That why I know I’ll tell that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

Tell her I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

That I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to...

Tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her...

That girl, that girl, that girl,
Oh, that girl, that girl, that girl, that girl...

“That Girl” – Stevie Wonder

I have made it public knowledge that I am the self-proclaimed King of “Can’t-take-a-hint-land”, and it pains me to think that after all of these years that I still suffer from the same affliction. If you have been keeping up with some of my past posts, “Does that make me craaaaazay?”, Part II, and Part III, I had met a young lady last month that had gotten my attention, especially after I got to go out with her. To wrap that one up, I basically tried to go out again, and kept getting “Sorry, I have plans already” and that kind of stuff… I’m not one to go forcing myself onto anyone’s agenda, but in general if I like someone, I am going to squeeze in some time to hang out. I don’t propose changing your trip to Brazil or anything, but some lunch or a baseball game isn’t too much to ask… but of course I can’t take a hint.

So anyway, a few days before my grandmother went in for surgery (reference this post for that), I was driving home and good ol’ Mr. Wonder comes on the radio. “That Girl” comes on – one of my favorite songs… but sometimes you have to have something on your mind to make the words sink in…

“What are you talking about?” You might be asking… well I’m referring to my friend that I have been confiding in all this time – been very understanding and helpful in keeping me sane in one of my past relationships, and even now. I don’t want to sit here and jump the gun and say that I’m ready to get involved in a relationship again after dealing with two that didn’t go very well in a short amount of time, but I definitely need to follow my own advice for once… quit going out looking for a relationship. Gain a friend first, then if it’s meant to be, the relationship will flourish. How did Stevie create this epiphany for me, you ask?

She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word

These lines speak to it somewhat. Don’t sit back and think that I am professing my love for anyone around here. I just think that the young woman that was making me craaaazay wasn’t the one I should have been looking for a response from. Someone else is out there and I need to find her, plain and simple. It’s just so hard to see that someone that you thought were vibin with all of a sudden just drop you like you have a virus or something. It was crude, but what happened to the “break up note” (laughs)? At least you knew to quit trying, it ain’t gonna happen, playa.

Well, suffice it to say I’m going to lay low for a while. I have other goals, aspirations, and responsibilities that I need to tend to. “That Girl” will come across my path soon enough, if she hasn’t already… perhaps she’s still listening to every word.

Since it IS Friday, I don't want to start the weekend sounding all depressing... so here's another one of my favs from Mr. Wonder...

A Song for Mama

You taught me everything and everything you've given me

I always keep it inside

You're the driving force in my life

Yeah

There isn't anything or anyone that I can be

It just wouldn't feel right

If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me when skies were gray

Whenever I was down you were always there to comfort me

and no one else can be what you have been to me

You’ll always be

You will always be the girl in my life

Chorus:

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(Oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me

Have always been around for me even when I was bad

You showed me right from my wrong

(yes you did)

and you took up for me when everyone was downin' me

You always did understand

You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times looking back when I was so afraid

and then you come to me

and say to me

I can face anything

and no one else can do what you have done for me

You’ll always be

you will always be the girl in my life for all times

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like

Tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

lovin' you is like food to my soul

Never gonna go a day without you

Fills me up just thinking about you

I’ll never go a day without my mama

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

lovin' you is like food to my soul

“A Song for Mama” – Boyz II Men

About six and a half years ago, I woke up on a Friday morning (February 18^th to be exact) and was headed to my Legal Environment class at Georgia State on time for a change, and before I could leave the phone rang. The Caller ID had my grandparent’s phone number come up. Today was my Uncle Don’s birthday, and Saturday would be my mother’s birthday. My mother was on an assignment in DC and was flying back to Atlanta in the afternoon, and I had planned on picking her up from the airport and taking her down to Florida since we all had been trying to go down and see her for the past month. Y2K was out of my sights, and since I had to work most of the holidays, it was time to make that up and go see the fam.

Back to the phone call – I answered the phone thinking it was strange to hear from them, but hey at least the number on the refrigerator didn’t go to waste. The voice on the phone wasn’t my grandmother – or my grandfather. A second later the woman that called handed the phone to Granddaddy, and he told me that my Grandmother passed away that morning. I literally talked to her less than 12 hours before. I called to see what she had planned for the weekend since I was going to surprise her – you have no idea how many times I would “pop” in town and both of them would be out of town… and you thought I traveled a lot. Shock, grief, disbelief only began to express how I felt that morning.

It’s amazing that it has been so long ago. “Mother” always told us that she wouldn’t always be around, so you better learn what you can from her while she was here to teach…

Fast forward to today… I type this sitting in the hospital waiting room as my other grandmother, “Mama” lays in the Vascular Intensive Care unit after she suffered a stroke coming out of surgery to prevent the very thing that happened. If there is something positive to take out of this – first and foremost, she is still alive. Secondly, of all the places to have a stroke, you can’t beat the hospital.

Not too soon after my grandmother’s death in Florida, “Soul Food” came out… perhaps my dates are off, but whatever. One of my best friends commented to me one day that the character Ahmad reminded him of me in real life because of my attachment to my grandmothers. Back then I was honestly insulted. How are you comparing me to some 9 year old kid in a movie? Over this past week, I must say that I now see where he was coming from. I could even draw some parallels from that movie to my family here in the A. Even some of the drama – but that’s for another day. All I care about right now is getting my grandmother out of the hospital and seeing to it that she makes a full recovery.

Does that make me craaaazay??? Part III

(“Crazy” is still playing… I wish someone would quit playin with the repeat button!)

So, 22 days after the initial meeting… countless phone calls, countless emails and some other stuff I don’t want to count (so I call it countless), we finally go out. Forget the picture – I think the proper term is, “doesn’t do her any justice.” I should have made her drive so I could get some good looks in, considering how long it has been between opportunities to see her, but beggars can’t be choosers, eh?

Nothing too fancy for the first time out – dinner and a movie. Keep it simple, stupid.

Her: “Have you seen the new ‘X-Men’ yet?”
Me: “Actually, no, I haven’t.”

At this point, I’m shocked that SHE suggested the movie… it did come in handy since there wasn’t anything out there that I was just dying to go see.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many (many = zero in this case) women that would want to see a movie like “X-Men”, much less actually suggest it themselves – Bonus Cool Points have been awarded.

Here’s the ultimate – at the end of the movie, there was a huge thunderstorm going on outside (thanks to me washing my car 48 hours before… just outside of the rain check guarantee that the car wash place gives out)… I didn’t have to wait for the storm to end, or go out and pull the car up to the door for her – she covered up her hair and ran out to the car with me!

Up until this point, I was taking the stance that if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just charge it to the game (a Silkk the Shocker reference for you No Limit fans…) and hope that at least a new professional contact was gained. But what do I do now? I certainly had no plans of pursuing yet another relationship at this point. My past three relationships have all ended with less than stellar results, so I’ve decided that maybe I need to take a step back and rethink things. Get a new strategy together. There has to be a better way to date… or better yet, a better way to have a relationship. One where you’re not guessing what the other one thinks about you from minute to minute.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Does that make me craaaazay??? Part II

(same music playing in the background… just turned down a little bit)

OK, so the last blog actually happened over a month ago. About a month before that, I found myself single again because of a cat, a two-year old, and a doctor that wouldn’t refer the two-year old to an allergist. July turned out a whole lot different that what I thought it would be like when I was looking ahead in March.

Anyway, that Monday morning at 1:43PM, guess who I got an email from??? Wow, I didn’t screw up that bad after all – I can’t think of a better way to start a Monday… and believe me when I tell you that I was in need of a gooooood Monday for a change.

A few weeks go by, and conversations take place… Can I meet someone that doesn’t have connections to my friends? Why is she a friend of one of my roommates from college and his wife? *shakes head* Atlanta is nothing but a big ‘ol country town where everybody knows each other for those that grew up here. I’m starting to recall memories of why I left Atlanta for Greensboro back in the day…

A few MORE weeks go by… dang, why haven’t I asked her out? I could take the safe route and blame the party at my house, and the network conversion at my job, and maybe even the rain (I don’t care what you say, “Blame it on the Rain” was a great song – I don’t care if Milli Vanilli sang it or not). She seems to keep a pretty busy schedule as well, so I could even say that I’m not sure if she’s even interested anymore…

This is where things get weird. Doubt sets in. All those nervous jitters from the first meeting are blown to proportions you’ve never seen before, or thought were possible. Why do we get stupid in the head when we meet someone new? In all honesty, at this point if she walked up and slapped me, I might not know it was her unless she said something – it’s been that long since I saw her, and I was slightly inebriated if you recall.

She sends me a photo – whoa. Is this the same girl? I’m really trippin now. This is Atlanta – I know she has a line of men waiting for just a little bit of attention.

*imagines a bunch of men on their knees chanting “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy…”*

...or maybe I'm crazy.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Happy Birthday, Phyllis.

Just a quick note to say Happy Birthday to the late Phyllis Hyman, a woman with truly one of the most beautiful voices I can think of. Phyllis would have been 57 today, and I’m sure at least 6 more albums deep in an already awesome collection.

Anyway, I will continue with yesterday’s blog a little bit later… please enjoy the incomparable Phyllis Hyman with Grover Washington, Jr. with “A Sacred Kind of Love” from 1989.

Does that make me craaaazay???

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably

“Crazy” – Gnarls Barkley AKA Cee-Lo

You’re at a wine tasting event. Running in and out of the place giving your friends directions while getting rained on. In between phone calls, you are sure to refill your glass with the closest bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot you can get to. Your underclothes are sticking to you like no-one’s business. Hopefully no one can tell. The friend of a friend that you were supposed to be meeting turned out to be a wash – you knew that from the second she walked in the building. At least they will leave you alone about meeting her finally. Good, now back to this one young lady I saw back in the corner pouring wine…

Still there? Check.
Still pouring wine? Check.
Cute from a distance? Double-check.
Did she just catch me looking? Check.

Oh well, she saw me looking now, so I HAVE to go over there, right?

*walks over*
*random conversation*
Did she just spill wine on me?? What is SHE drinking…
*more random conversation*
“What side of town do you live on?” (what the hell am I asking her that for?)
*other random silly questions*

OK, at this point, I’ve screwed this one up… let me take my exit and… well, I’m not going to bother asking for a number, but let’s throw up a hail mary…

“Here’s my card – shoot me a line or give me a call sometime.” (hmmm… is she even single?? I’ve been drinking too much)

*continued random conversation*
*walks away*


TO BE CONTINUED…

I want my "Georgia on My Mind" Car Tag back!

Melodies bring memories
That linger in my heart
Make me think of Georgia
Why did we ever part?
Some sweet day when blossoms fall
And all the world's a song
I'll go back to Georgia
'Cause that's where I belong.
Georgia, Georgia, the whole day through
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind.
Georgia, Georgia, a song of you
Comes as sweet and clear as moonlight through the pines.
Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you.
Georgia, Georgia, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind.

Music by Hoagy Carmichael and lyrics by Stuart Gorrell
Immortalized by the Great Ray Charles


Summertime is upon us, and while I was planning to be somewhere on I-10 in Louisiana by this time, there's still no place like home for a long holiday weekend. Hopefully I will get a chance to visit some family down in Florida before it's all said and done, but I'm just content in sitting around letting the day take me where it wants me to go.

There are actually only 2 places I would want to be on the night of the 4th - in a highrise along the river in Manhattan, or in Centennial Olympic Park in Atlanta. By far some of the best fireworks shows I've ever seen, and since July 1 marks the day for the new state laws to take effect, Downtown Atlanta is probably the only place you will legally get to see any fireworks get airborne.

Here are 34 ways to know if you're truly from Georgia:

1. You can properly pronounce Chickamauga, DeKalb, Dahlonega, Smyrna, Buena Vista, Valdosta, Okefenokee, and La Fayette.

P.S.. Atlanta = ADD-LANNA not AT-LANT-A.

2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they have sacks and buggies.

6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at weddings and funerals.

7. You think everyone from a Yankee-state has an accent.

8. You measure distance in minutes.

9. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

10. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

11. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

12. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.

13. You know someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

14. Almost everyone you know is either Baptist or Methodist.

15. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Chevy Silverado Extended Bed Crew Cab is.

16. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.

17. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

18. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin'" to send them to your friends.

19. On one side of the road there's Wal-Mart and on the other is a cotton field.

20. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."

21. "Ya'll" is a word.

22. Fried chicken is a major part of your diet

23. Krispy Kreme donuts are the only kind of donuts you eat.

24. You call it a cold Christmas if you don't break out in a sweat in your new sweater.

25. Your whole town completely shuts down for 1 inch of snow or just the threat of snow.

26. People actually grow, eat and like okra!

27. You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.

28. Your dog and your wallet are both on chains.

29. Panama City Beach, Florida is a big deal.

30. You understand that at least once a year your car will turn yellow with pollen.

31. You know at least one Bubba, and maybe a few guys named Bo.

32. You say "tuna fish sandwich."

33. You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.

And finally...

34. You are 100% Georgian if you have ever had this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"

"Yeah."

"What kind?"

"Dr Pepper."

---

Anyway, hope everyone has a good weekend... and a prayer goes out to my Texas counselor and to my neighbors that lost their 6 and 7 year old cousins in a car accident on their way to summer camp this week. Everyone please be careful out in those streets! In closing, here is probably one song that can almost make me cry on demand...

It all comes back to what?

Every man has a place, in his heart there’s a space,
And the world cant erase his fantasies
Take a ride in the sky, on our ship fantasii
All your dreams will come true, right away

And we will live together, until the twelfth of never
Our voices will ring forever, as one

Every thought is a dream, rushing by in a stream,
Bringing life to our kingdom of doing
Take a ride in the sky, on our ship fantasii
All your dreams will come true, miles away

Our voices will ring together until the twelfth of never,
We all, will live forever, as one

Come see victory, in the land called fantasy
Loving life, a new decree,
Bring your mind to everlasting liberty

Our minds will explore together, old worlds, we conquer, forever
We then, will expand love together, as one

Come to see, victory in a land called fantasy,
Loving life, for you and me, to behold, to your soul is ecstasy
You will find, other kind, that has been in search for you,
Many lives has brought you to
Recognize its your life, now in review
And as you stay for the play, fantasy, has in store for you,
A glowing light will see you through

Its your day, shining day, all your dreams come true
As you glide, in your stride with the wind, as you fly away
Give a smile, from your lips, and say
I am free, yes I’m free, now I’m on my way

- “Fantasy”, by Earth Wind & Fire

I have to work in the morning to get some things done… and I was about to go to sleep. Being the true IT geek that I am, I had to check my email one last time before hopping on what I dare call a futon. Had a new comment about one of my entries… cool! Let me login and approve it – a few clicks later, I’m looking at some other comments that were left about other posts… one of which from an ex that lives in a state to the north. When she gained her ex-status with me, she also earned status on my ignore list because we simply could not talk for more than five minutes without getting into a shouting match. I’m sorry that it comes off as being crude, but when I don’t have my harmonious balance, I will cut throats to get it back. Listen to me now and believe me later. I refuse to sit up and rehash an argument that’s now moot since we aren’t dating anymore. It’s just plain silly.

My point in bringing this up is I decided to see if old girl had been doing any writing of her own… 8 different blogs?

Are you serious?

Perhaps I could be totally self-absorbed and perhaps I need to have the lyrics to Carly Simon’s “You’re so Vain” up at the top instead – but some of this stuff was DEFINITELY about me.

I would like to reference “It all comes back”, which may or may not be found at http://itallcomesback.blogspot.com/ depending on if she’s still reading my posts or not. For your convenience, I have placed the text in this blog, along with some of my thoughts:

“I have given you more time than I should have already. But I shall give you this one last bit, Through your dishonesty with me and yourself , you caused a great deal of pain. Your dishonesty with me cost me time and heartache, which eventually did come to pass with great results. Your dishonesty with yourself cost you a great friendship, and has cost you relationships and will continue to cost you until you own up to yourself.”

Hmmm… was I dishonest? In hide sight, I think that I was. Prior to our “relationship”, our friendship consisted of her telling me how wonderful I was and how attractive I was, and how absolutely “smitten” she was with me. Did I have the same adoration of her that she had of me? No I didn’t. Was she cute? Absolutely. Was she intelligent? Hell yeah. Was I smitten? Not quite – but I was willing to see where things went and hopefully one day I would share that same feeling.

“I do believe that the dishonesty you used in dealing with me has brought you to the place you find yourself in today. Lonely, alone; a pitiful mess. When you do wrong, especially against those of pure heart, it all comes back. I would love to gloat in your greif and sail joyfully down the river of your tears, but life and love have taught me that it all comes back. I acted without dishonesty and mal intent, and for that I have been greatly rewarded. For you I feel no anger, only pity.”

For this, I also reference my previous post – in particular the part about worrying about keeping up with your friends in terms of car, house, etc. I myself was caught up in thinking about what my friends had and should I marry this woman where I would be financially. During our friendship, she expressed a desire to go to medical school, and wanting to do this and wanting to do that, all of which I thought were great things. Thinking selfishly of course, how nice would it have been with a MD for a wife? (*imitates Damon Wayans* mo money, mo money, MO MONEY!). Thinking about marriage as a financial transaction? Guilty as charged. Dishonest? No worse than reeling me in under those auspices only to tell me that you don't want to do medical school anymore and that I should be making plenty of money soon enough... now who's being dishonest?

“I would love to say, " I told you so". Because on that August afternoon , when you let me lay in tears on your bedroom floor and stepped over me as if I were filth I knew then that your soul was hollow; and tainted. I told you then that your hollow soul would pave the road for your weary heart. You turned to me in disbelief. Yet here and now , after time has passed and your life has become what I told you it would be.”

The way our friendship turned into a relationship was dishonest in itself. My want-to-keep-everything-harmonious-butt accepted the status change from friends to more-than-friends simply to keep the peace. The girl was a hothead. One second, nice, happy, even giddy. The next, watch out for the fire-breathing dragon! Our relationship was one created and consummated by her, I just didn’t have the heart to hurt her feelings that I wasn’t ready to go that route yet. A hollow soul? A soul without a backbone when it came to her is more accurate. Once I asserted myself that “August afternoon” and decided not to crumble under those tears that I fell for once before must have truly been a shock to you. Your “hollow soul” no longer was filled with your agenda. No longer agreeing to just about anything you said including your decision to not pursue medical school anymore – if indeed you wanted to do that at all… hmmm, didn’t Aretha say, “Who’s zoomin who?”

“I might be crazy, I might be the wrong one, but I a seldom wrong.
I wish you peace, I wish you power, I wish you hope.
I don't wish to rejoin lives with you, as I am now complete.
However, to borrow from words of Miss Cealie "Until you do right by me, everything you do is gonna crumble and fail" I wish you no harm as " Everything you done to me, has already been done to you" because it all comes back.”

It can be a dangerous thing to use someone else’s words to express what you’re trying to get across, but it’s also no point in reinventing the wheel. I’m going to borrow from the Piano Man once again as I have so many times in the past…

“You may be right
I may be crazy
But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for
Turn out the light
Don't try to save me
You may be wrong for all I know
But you may be right”

To reference my previous post once again, I realize my situation, and the decisions I made to get to that situation. Will I harp on it and feel sorry for myself? Absolutely not. Provided I’ve learned from the mistakes I made with you and the others that came before and after you, everything I do ain’t gon’ crumble and fall, Miss Celie… I’s happy with where I am and confident in where I’m going, and I know the difference between being real and what’s fantasy.

What has your yoke done for you lately?

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him...

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There's nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees...

"What a Fool Believes" - The Doobie Brothers

I find myself thinking about my last post especially after a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine at my house over the weekend. I don't think it's a secret that I have plenty of single, attractive, female friends. I've never been one to get into their business either unless previously invited. What my friend and I couldn't understand (and still don't for that matter) is why so many of these beautiful, talented, successful women are still single?

Let me also add this - the night before the get-together at my house, I was preparing food and listening to an Anthony Hamilton concert... during one of the interludes, he was talking about how people in relationships let outsiders exert their influence on them. He had one comment that people like to tell people in a relationship that hit home - "Ya'll aren't evenly yoked."

That statement hits home with me because in my opinion the concept of "evenly yoked” has been taken out of its original context and "interpreted" without thinking about the implications of that interpretation (try repeating that 3 times). If you are evenly yoked in all things - spiritually, financially, etc. then what can you learn from that other person? What can that other person learn from you? If you're not learning, then how do you grow?

Ladies, if that man doesn't make as much money as you, is he less of a man? Just because he is sweaty from working outside all day, does that negate his work ethic and dedication to something? The concept of everyone being evenly yoked has made us all think that we need to find a counterpart of the opposite sex to live our lives with. Here's a newsflash: IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. How many lawyers do you see married to lawyers? How many doctors do you see married to doctors? Not that many. On paper, they may be even yoked, so why don't all doctors and lawyers marry other doctors and lawyers? Why don't all waiters marry waitresses? If everyone is evenly yoked, then we might as well adopt the caste system that countries like India are so fond of, and that we as Americans allegedly dispise.

What we are doing is hiding behind “evenly yoked” because we are afraid to actually put in some work for a common goal. We are so worried about keeping up with our friends in terms of car, house, etc. that we're too scared to be starting behind them when we join material assets and salaries. Worried about appearances and how it will look if you go to church without your significant other. Worried about telling your girlfriends that your man doesn’t work for a Fortune 500 company and what they are going to think. Do they have your best interests at heart, or do they have what they THINK is your best interests at heart? Only you know what’s right for you, and letting your friends, family, pastor, etc. unduly influence you with their yoke-o-meter will land you with what they WANT you to have, not what you NEED. If material and financial gain are your purposes for getting married, then you can stop reading now if you haven't already.

I’m not telling everyone to just give up on your aspirations and expectations in a mate, but rather be a little more imaginative. If you’re on the train, and some sweaty construction worker sits next to you, don’t get up worried that his smell will rub off on your dry-clean only clothes – you never know when the powers that be up above have put someone in your presence that could be Prince Charming or Cinderella… if anything, you might find someone that can come and install that ceiling fan for a great price if you talk to them the right way. The money you save there could far outweigh the cost of going to the dry cleaners.

To close things out, I have a thought for you all to ponder, plus a video of The Doobie Brothers performing “What a Fool Believes” live… I thought that the song was appropriate because a lot of us are acting foolishly and need to start listening to our hearts instead of our constituents before we all end up living alone with a pet cat.

“The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for Spring, for Summer, for Fall, for Winter, for the 1st of the 15th of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn…
before deciding to be HAPPY.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination. There is no better time to be happy than…

NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.”

-Author Unknown

If you can’t be happy with your current situation, why would anyone else want to be bothered with you? Take a second and think about that instead of worrying about being “evenly yoked.”

What does Dr. Phil know?

Cee Lo:
This particular song right here is dedicated to the black woman
And it doesn't pertain to all black women because some of y'all
disrespect y'all selves bcause you don't know who you are in the first place.
This is out of respect to women period

Word up

I'm quite single
And occassionally I mingle
But aside from all the rest
You sparks my interest
No m'aam I don't know you
Just offerin the common respect I feel I owe you
Also, some conversation, companionship
Common ground and common sense
There's no such thing as coincidence
In me findin you here
And I really hate screamin in yo ear
So some other time, OK? (ok)
I waited a day...

Hello, this is Carlito
From a coupla days ago
You sound tired
Forgive me if I call you too late
But what better time to relate mindstate
Where could I begin?
Has anyone ever told you have beautiful skin?
You're more than welcome
What do you desire within?
I just wanna be
There's no need to put titles on you and me
Those are limitations
Livin and learnin are our only obligations
Equality, honesty, independence
Intelligence emotin and devotion
Humbly seekin to hear God when he's speakin to us
A one time my mind just couldn't concieve
A woman had to dress a certain way to believe
But, in the same breath allow me to say
That, if you believe, young lady, you wouldn't dress that way
And I was attracted to your class
I couldn't see all yo ass
And I was very content
You deserved every compliment
Indifferences make us the same
You gotta have some game, or
You ain't even gonna be able to take care of yoself
I love when I look at you, I see my reflection
So I offer my love, affection and protecton
Shawty, you dead fine
But the bottom line is, you still my sista

Chorus:
Well, I say
You're my... beginnin, my end
You're my sista lover and friend
God is your light from within
It shines from your beautiful skin
What they say 'bout you ain't true
There's no me if there is no you
I hope that you understand
You got to respect yourself before I can

Gipp:
I met you and y'all knew
Saw you again on Marietta
Downtown Atlanta
Checkin your long legs, got me smirkin
Fixed me dinner one night, candles lit
Thought you was slick in the beginnin
But it turned out you wouldn't lie
Looked me in my eye
I listened
Sucked it up, pushed on
We made amends
Both sides clicked, true friends
Since then, years done gon by
Brought a baby girl into this world
Made our parents grandfolk
Household with no hope
Took care of ye, you me
When shit got put out on the curb
Closer than the skin on the back of my hand
Through the thick and thin
We can win
Beautiful black skin

Chorus:

Khujo:
No need to compete
With the music loud
Or stairs cold
Put on a scale
Of one to ten, you a twelve
I chose her over jail and hell
Originally from ATL

T-Mo:
Compatible souls come together
Under bad weather
To discuss the mistrust
Amongst the so-called
Good in every woman
How I wish this was true
I deal with facts only
Already done cloned me
Why I sang the blues
When there's only one God that watches over our every step
I need his help
When I'm walkin
Lookin for the right female
I can't tell sometimes
They tell me the devil's comin humble in his approach
Spontaneous with the game
Caught the naive of a girl fallin for the OK
Let the pistol smoke the one you live by
Die by
Examples of how relationships can be

Khujo:
I rolls the dice
Takin a chance at crappin out
Like today boy
I lost one of my best hips
Natural thick lips
No animal fat implants
Wide load
This daughter workin at the airport
19 years old
Worth more her weight in gold
But it was all my fault
So don't cry, understand
And down the line I want you back
But the feelin ain't mutual
Just promise me you'll find a new man
That's bout some business
Hope she find what her was lookin for
Like a ?????
I wanted to be more than friends
Beautiful black skin (black skin)

Chorus
(repeat)

- "Beautiful Skin" - Goodie MoB

I'm no stranger to some of the Internet dating sites that are out there, and my recent breakup has turned me back to surfing through them again on occasion. Lately, all I can do is shake my head at the women that I have been finding on these sites. You say one thing, but your photos say something entirely different. For the sake of not getting sued, I won't show you any example photos, but I'll try my best to describe...

• Example #1:
• Main photo is of a woman in some lingerie (if you want to call it that) laying on a bed. Let's not even talk about the rest of the photos - it only got worse.
  
• Age: 33
• Status: Never Married
  
• Height: 5'8"
• Body Type: Average
• Children: 5
• Quote: I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO CHILL WITH, SOMEONE THAT IS HONEST,FAITHFUL, CARING,RESPECTFUL, FUNNY AND VERY ROMANTIC... ETC...SOMEONE THAT WANTS SOMETHING OUT OF LIFE, SOMEONE THAT IS GOING TO ACCEPT ME FOR ME AND WILLING TO ACCEPT MY KIDS JUST AS WELL.SOMEONE THAT IS NOT ABOUT GAMES...SOMEONE THAT HAS GOD IN THERE LIFE JUST AS WELL... NO PICTURE NO RESPONSE!!!!

I'm all about the full disclosure, but there has to be a point where you have to decide do you really need to interact with anymore men? Do you honestly think any man is going to take what you say seriously? Wouldn't that $49 you just gave the site of your choice be served better by buying one of your 5 children some socks or something? I'm not saying that you don't deserve to find that special someone a ride off into the sunset like every girlie-flick ends... but let's be real for once. There has to be a point in your life when you accept that the decisions you made in the past and live up to the consequences...

• Example #2:
• Main Photo is a headshot with a sephia finish of a woman with a nice smile.
• The rest of the photos are headshots and group photos - no lingerie, no underwear... everything on the up and up.
• Age: 28
• Status: Never Married
• Height: 5'4"
• Body Type: Average
• Children: None
• Quote: I am looking for someone who is financially stable, good hearted, strives to be a better person and enjoys his family. Laughter is so important in life. A friendship is welcome but a long term relationship is what I am ultimately looking for.

Could be construed as dull and boring, but what's wrong with that? Gives you something to look forward to - maybe you'll find that "wild side" when you get the chance to go out. I realize that these are very different and contrasting profiles, but they both point out things that you definitely should and should NOT do when you're trying to catch a man online...

1. DO leave something to the imagination. If we can see you damn-near naked online, it's assumed that you're going to be totally naked pretty soon when we meet offline. How many men have you known to go to a strip club to watch a woman get dressed? None.
2. DON'T list 1000 things that you want your mate to have. This is one I need to pay attention to myself actually... It's fine to have requirements in a mate, but when you have a grocery list, you're going to turn off everyone - including the ones that actually meet your requirements. It comes off as being selfish and not willing to compromise, which is what that relationship (that you so badly want) is all about. Leave the grocery list in the grocery store.

I could probably sit here and come up with several other things to do and not to do, but I think you get the point. Don't tell me about about how much you go to church, but have pictures in your draws online. A great saying that programmers live by - garbage in, garbage out. You don't need Dr. Phil to tell you that for $49.95.

Summer Summer Summertime!

* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" *
* 3 bars of drum beats *
* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" *

Verse One: MC Serch

Real cool.. cause Brooklyn's cool!
Friday doin the last day of school
Girls steppin to the mall to swing
Settin up dollars for their summer fling
Cars on the avenue create gridlock
And there's girls like MAD at the bus stop
Not waitin on the bus, but waitin on the cash flow
Fellas are laughin, gassin the past hoe
Girl steps to me and pushes issue
"That knot you got, is that money or tissue?"
Feelin on the bulge, thinkin it's her own
I tell her that it's money and she should move on
She says she's pure from legs to her thighs
And we should talk over some chinese and fries
I tell her to step, but hey that's the scene
Cause she ain't nothin.. but a Brooklyn Queen

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!


Verse Two: Pete Nice

State the rhyme, borough of Brooklyn
Otherwise known as Crooklyn
Freaks fortify flesh with gold
Ears hang trunk, in a slave hold
Walk past, don't get the time of day
Played like suede, on a summer sway
Conversated, till I made her laugh
Said, "I'm Pete Nice.. you want my autograph?"
Oval Office closed as she heard this
She said, "From 3rd Bass? I could do this"
Listen closely, slowly took a swig of intoxicants
Cause the Brooklyn Queen's a gold digger

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

Verse Three: MC Serch

Squared away.. with my digits and tonight's plans
When I feel a crab grab my right hand
Slapped her on the back, tried to calm her
Asking her, "Now what's the reason for the drama?"
Her next move was straight out of textbook
"Haven't we met before?" Giving me a sex look
Yo Wisdom, your lyrics are in bad taste
So I'm forced to give you nothing but the Gas Face
You better go, for hoppin on the cab or bus
Cause you're downtown and you're simply too fabulous
But get this, ain't this a humdinger?
She stepped to a retard sportin a four-finger ring
Somewhere in the skin tight jeans
I'm gonna scoop the best of the Brooklyn-Queens

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

Verse Four: Pete Nice

Last exit to Brooklyn I enter
Carefully the Queen holds my scepter
Gettin numb like a Derelict on scotch
I'm Dick Lewis, cause baby I'm watchin you
scheme on a brother for a knot
To choose between the have and the have-not
Do you doubt the shade of vanilla?
I'll play Elvis and you play Priscilla
Oh he's no hero, better yet Billy Dee
Advertise cheap liqour for a fee
A Brooklyn Queen, rushes Russell Simmons
That's like Tyson rushin Givens

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" repeatedly over drum beat *

* 3rd Bass says 'Brooklyn-Queens' (3X) *
[MC Serch] Who's on Prince Paul's cactus?
'Brooklyn-Queens'
[MC Serch] Hahaha, yeah check it out
'Brooklyn-Queens'
yo, 'Brooklyn-Queens'
* Daddy Rich keeps scratchin *

- "Brooklyn Queens", 3rd Bass


I was sitting at home last night about to call it a night and I started listening outside... basketballs bouncing, kids yelling... bikes screeching... what the hell? Isn't it 11:15 at night?? Don't they have school in the morning??

Then it hit me - I went to my cousin's high school graduation on Friday, so that means school is out for summer! It's this time of year when I want to be a teacher. If money were no object, I'd be all on it - summers to go run around and stay up as late as you want... makes you think to back in the day when you were doing big things if you had a job at Lenox or at Six Flags (I maintained employment at both places at one time or the other...*clears throat*).

Brooklyn Queens used to be one of my favorite songs that made me think of summer, but I have to give 3rd Bass a slight demotion because of my experiences with New Yorkers and other Yankees chronicled somewhat in this link. Having spent summers in the south (GA, FL, NC, SC), the midwest (MN, IL), the mid-Atlantic (DC, VA, MD), and the northeast(CT, NJ, NY), I can confidently say there's nothing like the dirty dirty between Memorial Day and Labor Day. You know why I say that? Central air conditioning. None of that window unit crap with the streamer tied on the vents to make it look like you're really moving some air. Forgive me for not even really having a topic here, but I was just having flashbacks of conversations with people up north that live down here and want to actually compare life in the A to life up north... Plain and simple, there is no comparision. I learned more running around in the back woods of Madison County Florida than I ever would have in NYC or Chicago... all you can do up there is sit on the stoop and hope for a bus to drive by fast enough to draw up a breeze. I had trees to go run under, rivers to stick my feet in, and if it got too hot, some lovely air conditioning to go inside to (that "air conditioning" was in the form of a 2-speed fan at first... we all gotta start from somewhere). The point is, I grew up with options. It was hot enough to scramble eggs on the sidewalk, but you could set your alarm clock to the 3:30 thunderstorm that was sure to cool things down. By 4:15, you were back outside where there were no signs of a storm unless you went up under the trees.

Summertime just isn't what it used to be. I was given things to do over the summer that I actually did... these kids don't want to be bothered anymore. Summer Camp, Vacation Bible School, knocking out the summer reading list... it all beats getting up and going to work everyday. Now I have to wonder if I will be coming home to a bunch of kids that have nothing to do everyday except case my house and then decide when they are going to break in...

(sidebar)
This may be messed up, but I just called a local alarm company about an installation... they claim to cost only $12.95 per month, so we shall see how that ends up...

Back to the pleasant thoughts of summer... basketball in the park, going to Florida to spend time with my grandparents, even the running around Six Flags driving their truck and burning their gas... it was such a carefree time compared to current times. Don't get me wrong - I don't "long" or wish that I was 14 years old again... I'm enjoying the hell out of the new crib with 2 cars in the garage... It's most definitely better to be grown and sexy than young and walking around with a white t-shirt that looks like a dress. Here's the best summer anthem... and the nest song DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince ever released. I tell you - we all need to go to HIS family reunion.



Kids, I hope you enjoy your summer... I'll be counting the days until I see you sitting in the front of my subdivision getting picked up by the cheese-wagon. Don't come asking me to wash my car for $5, or to buy any candy for your school - game recognizes game, playa.

What do you get for someone that's turned 250,000?

In honor of my good old 1997 VW Jetta turning over 250,000 miles yesterday afternoon, I present one of my favorite Jetta commercials...

Click Here.

Some of you may know the Black Jetta as Jade - I have no idea where that name came from, or why you all insist on calling it that, but oh well. The white car is to be referred to as "The Miracle Whip". So far it has not lived up to the formidable reputation that Jade has established for Jettas.


With only 87,000 miles, I am about to sink more into the new car in one year for repairs than I sunk into Jade over 4 years for repairs and regular maintenance. Go figure. Just goes to show you that they don't necessarily make them like they used to - even 10 years ago. We'll see ya at 300K soon!

Maybe I should read my horoscopes more often.

(same song is playing from yesterday...)

Here are my Horrorscopes for today and yesterday:

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Isn't it funny how something you find annoying in a friend is the very same thing you don't like about yourself? Stop projecting and do some self-examination instead. You might just get to the root of all this brouhaha.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Assuming everyone else has a perfect life is a surefire ticket to Self-pityville. However, facing facts will get you out of there on the express train. Everyone has problems. They're just all different.

***

It has always amazed me how horoscopes can manage to stay vague enough to grasp your attention when something is going on in your life that you desperately want to get resolved. The messages for today and yesterday however have forced me to alter my thinking somewhat - am I orchestrating the very thing that I cannot stand to have in my life?

"What is that thing?" is probably the question on most your minds right now... well I will tell you.

I can't stand drama.
I loathe conflict.
I hate any disruption of my somewhat harmonious world and will avoid it like the great plague with almost reckless abandon.

So adding that "philosophy" if you will with the horrorscopes of the past two days makes me ponder the question, "Is my desire for happiness in my life interfering with the possibility of actually achieving that very same goal?"

What I mean is this - in the past, my reaction to conflict has been to withdraw from it, study it, and then make an informed decision/statement if the conflict itself hasn't subsided already. It could be construed as a punk maneuver, but if you ever conflicted with my father, you would want to sit back and wait for it to subside too (entirely another story for another day). If you look back at my adopted manifesto, you will see that my desire for no conflict feeds seamlessly from this. If you have to ride in a boat and you get seasick, it's usually best to keep it from rocking as much as possible. You still have to ride in the boat. Mike said it best - "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Now back to yesterday's post. I think that I regressed about ten years back when I sent out an email to a large group of people when I was upset with an organization that will remain nameless (the names are changed or concealed to protect the innocent, or more importantly the guilty indeed) and I sent out an email expressing why I was upset since I didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the organization management. While it did finally get some attention, it was not attention that was needed to come to a positive resolution. I got nothing but backlash and accusations from people that ultimately had already bought in to the organization's way of thinking and thus anyone thinking otherwise was not treated kindly. Yesterday's blog was no different - I typed before thinking and before discussing with the people the blog was directed towards. In turn, I received some hefty backlash from one of the people that took the hint, the others probably haven't even looked back at the Evite, much less this or any other blog of mine. I am assuming they are a lost cause for now and if they want to step back into the theater, then it's up to them to open the door themselves now - I tried opening it for you, and as far as I can tell it was slammed back in my face.

As for the one that left a comment - because of our conversation yesterday, I will not publish what you had to say because admittedly what both of us wrote was based on assumptions that we made. Have we not learned from Samuel L. Jackson?? I still don't know who Umption is, but I do think that I made an ass of myself. I don't want or need the conflict in my life, and I now realize that my desire manifests itself in what seems a cruel, "I'm not talking to you" fashion. It has been my experience that if you take a step back and breathe for a second, you can get a new, refreshed look at the situation and better understand how you got to where you are. Maybe realize why you brought that person into your theater in the first place. If you don't understand where you're coming from, you will never get to where you need to be. While head-on conflict resolution works for some people, it does not work with me. I do not scream and yell - it runs my blood pressure up. I simply shutdown. It's such a waste precious energy, and I choose to use my energy for positive endeavors. Worst of all, you end up saying something you don't mean down the road. On the other hand, writing in anger is not good either. You make assumptions, you might hurt your fingers and/or keyboard while typing, and you'll probably end up saying something that you'll regret later.

So pretty much, I'm screwed unless someone else has any bright ideas. Going on a talk show is not an option, so don't even mention it. And I'm certainly not going to Self-Pityville - doesn't sound like a nice enough vacation spot for my tastes.

Some Evite Etiquette...

If you want something to play with
Then go and find yourself a toy
Baby, my time is too expensive
And I'm not a little boy

If you are serious
Don't play with my heart, it makes me furious
But if want me to love you
Then, baby, I will, girl, you know I will

Tell it like it is
Don't be ashamed to let your conscience be your guide
But I-I-I-I-I know deep down inside of me
I believe you love me, forget your foolish pride

Life is too short to have sorrow
You may be here today and gone tomorrow
You might as well get what you want
So go on and live, baby, go on and live

Tell it like it is
I'm nothin' to play with, go and find yourself a toy
But I-I-I-I-I
Tell it like it is
My time is too expensive
And I'm not your little boy

FADE
Mm mm, tell it like it is

"Tell It Like It Is" - Aaron Neville

Not to read into the lyrics too much, but it gets a very good point across. So I don't make you sit here and read until your eyes dry up, I'll go ahead and get to the point, which is this - if someone invites you to an event they are throwing... or better yet if I invite you to an event that I am throwing - it's not out of spite, malice, feeling sorry for, or anything along those lines. I invited you because I wanted to see you and hopefully share in a fun evening - something that probably wouldn't happen under normal circumstances if we were alone. Some good public interaction would hopefully lead to a positive working friendship down the road - everything and everyone has to have a starting point.

To tie in the Evite etiqutte, as a general rule, when I respond to Evites, especially when I cannot attend, I will at least take a moment and say "Sorry, I have other plans already" or "Can't wait - see you then" - nothing too fancy, but enough to let the host know that I appreciate the fact that you thought enough of me to invite me to your event. It's the least you can do.

By simply putting down that you're not going to attend and not sending any other information my way gives me a few notions:

1. I don't care to be around you and your friends and family.
2. I don't care to be bothered with you.
3. You repulse me and you're lucky I even responded.
4. You have a lot of nerve to want to see me after not contacting me in the past.

I could go for days speculating about what is going on, but wading in the past is not something I'm too fond of these days. To quote Mr. Joel as I do so often, "The good 'ol days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems..."

My point is this - if we were friends in the past we can be friends again in the future. Someone has to take that first step, and then it's up to the other person to take the next one. Tell it like it is - if you don't want to be friends with me, then let me know and I can move on with my life and you can move on with yours.

...and I'll never see you if I had no loot...

Da-da-da-day, da-da-da-da-day-ay,
Da-da-da-day, da-da-da-da-day-ay
Da-da-da-day, da-da-da-da-day-ay

If the shoe fits I want you to wear it, and wear it good,
ah-ah, ah-ah-yeah, ah-ah-hah

Talkin' 'bout them times when I was by myse-e-elf,
I would always be lookin' for somebody else
But as time went on I had a talk with my mi-i-ind,
friends like you and you I gotta leave behind

And so, you ca-all me your friend but you only want my gifts
And I'll never see you if I had no loot, I'll never see them
I'm just glad I know the truth
and I'm payin' my own bills and I'll never ever depe-end on you

Friends and enemies around me everyday,
I can't believe half the things they say
Takin' me for granted givin' no credit at all,
I'll just keep bouncin' like a bouncin' ball
Everybody seems to disappear on me-ee,
can't trust no one as far as I can see
If I could be that fly that's on the wa-a-all,
listenin' to my friends talk about it all

You ca-all me your friend but you only want my gifts
And I'll never see you if I had no loot, I'll never see them
I'm just glad I know the truth
and I'm payin' my own bills
And I'll never ever depend on you, some soul you are

I don't mean to step on nobody's foot, but ah -

When I need somebody there's nobody to ca-a-all
When they need me, my phone rings off the wall
But these are my friends and that so what they say-ay-ay
Constantly takin' from me everyday, you say

You ca-all me your friend but you only want my gifts
And I'll never see you if I had no loot, I'll never see them
I'm just glad I know the truth
and I'm payin' my own bills
And I'll never ever depe-end on you

"If I Had No Loot" - Tony! Toni! Toné!

There is a manifesto that I chose to live by several years ago called "Life is a Theater", and every so often I must remind myself of that. The past few weeks have been another one of those moments in my life when I needed to evaluate myself as well as those that I choose to spend time with.

This past weekend I drove to Washington, DC with my girlfriend for a wedding that she was participating in. I got the chance to see one of my oldest friends from back in middle school, as well as a good friend of mine that I met in Atlanta through another friend. One thing my girlfriend pointed out to me in meeting both of them (that I guess I already knew at this point anyway) is that all of my friends are very different from one another in terms of personality, preferences, mannerisms, etc.

What was different about this epiphany was that I started looking back on some friends that I grew up with and no longer hang out with regularly because of various reasons, but primarily because I saw our lives moving in conflicting areas. When I first read this statement relating life to a theater, I began to understand why:

***

Life Is A Theater - Choose Your Audience Carefully

Not everyone is healthy enough to have a front row seat in our lives.
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a DISTANCE.
It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of, or at least
minimize your time with, draining, negative, incompatible,
not-going-anywhere relationships/friendships.

Observe the relationships around you.
Pay attention.
Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know or appreciate you?
The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of Your Life.

"If you cannot change the people around you, CHANGE the people you are around."
Remember that the people we hang with will have an impact on both our lives and our income. And so we must be careful to choose the people we hang out with, as well as the information with which we feed our minds.
We should not share our dreams with negative people, Nor feed our dreams with negative thoughts.
It's your choice and your life..... It's up to you who and what you let in it......

***

I can't think of a better analogy to the way you should perceive those around you. Maybe it takes a while to notice those people around you that are draining and make you feel worse than you did before you see them. First time, shame on you - second time, shame on ME. Looking back on this past weekend and my girlfriend's comment - I also realized that my truly positive, good friends can mix and mingle with any of my other friends and we can all have a good time regardless of where we are. Those are the people that I want in the front of my theater - not the ones that rub everyone around them the wrong way (myself included). It's not my intention to sit here and say that I will never speak to them again (although I could easily do that), I just want to step back and see what happens when that negative vibe isn't around me as much. Is that distraction keeping me from doing something that I need to do? What kind of karma am I bringing to myself by participating in your destructive activities?

Whatever the answers to those questions may be, it is my obligation to myself to find that answer. If that means that you're not in the front of my theater, I hope that you will understand. I completely understand if I'm in the back of yours - or not even invited in.

I Can't Drive 55!

One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
Well, baby, black and white come and touched my groove again!

Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
Oh No!
Uh!

So I signed my name on number 24, hey!
Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more... We're gonna throw your ass in the city joint" Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?"
I said Yea!, Oh yea!

Write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
Oh, yea!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
Uh!

-solo-
When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get get my car out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day. Huh!
It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.

Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
No, no no,
I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive 55!

-- "I Can't Drive 55", by Sammy Hagar


Anyone that's driven with me knows this is my theme song while driving... and 90% of those same people think I'm DWC - Driving While Crazy. I respectfully disagree.

I grew up in a city that's too busy to hate because we're constantly trying to hurry up and get somewhere. If there's a traffic jam, I've come to accept that I am going to be travelling somewhere between 2-10 miles per hour for a little time. That's fine. When traffic opens up, however, this is my chance to make up that time and possibly make it to my destination on time for a change. Are policies and laws created to control traffic, or does traffic create laws and policies? When you are speeding down the road, isn't it just plain instinct to hit your brakes when you see a police officer on the side of the road - regardless of if you are actually speeding or not?

Does speed kill? Nope - incapable drivers kill. Driving fast doesn't automatically make you a "good" driver. My father and I have talked on several occasions about making a second class of driver's license, allowing these drivers to drive at a speed above the posted speed limit because they have deomonstrated the ability to handle themselves in emergency situations and another battery of tests. Your license plate would be designated with a special tag on the front and rear of your car so that people would see you in their rear view mirror, as well as in front of them. A convoluted idea, maybe. But there has to be something better than the way in which police officers arbitrarily enforce traffic laws. If you are speeding, switching lanes without notice, cutting people off left and right, etc. then by all means pull them over and give them a citation. And if you click on the "I Can't Drive 55" link at the top, you will see why 55 isn't the answer either.

As for me... I'll keep on driving like I drive - if you see a VW emblem in your rear view, consider getting out of it's way - it might be me!