Call it a Lesson Learned

Yes, I was burned but I call it a lesson learned
Mistake overturned but I call it a lesson learned
My soul has returned so I call it lesson learned
Another lesson learned

- "Lesson Learned" by Alicia Keys

First off, let me apologize to those that were actually reading this on a regular basis… I have been going through a lot of things since my last post in which I was moving to Minnesota – some bad, but most of it very good.

My point in writing today isn't to harp about what I have been doing over the past few months – well, not on purpose, at least.

Recently, I have found myself thinking about the past few years – whom I chose to associate with, whom I chose to date, the choices I made in my career… just to name a few topics. Some of those people I decided that I no longer needed to associate with, and some people decided that they no longer wanted to associate with me. Since I recently got engaged, the reaction to that news from certain people has been interesting to say the least.

Those same reactions have made me look back at how I reacted to some people when they told me they were getting married. I was downright nasty to a few people, and now that I understand where they were at that moment, I honestly feel terrible. The day I proposed to my fiancé was one of the most exciting, emotion-filled days I have ever had in my life, and anyone questioning that decision or trying to detract from that feeling (whether done intentionally or not) honestly made me wonder if I needed to stop associating with more people. I am surprised that the people I reacted negatively towards even speak to me now.

"It is easier to forgive and enemy than it is to forgive a friend." – William Blake

This quote has resonated with me for a while – It is so true because when someone close to you betrays you, you are left in your most vulnerable state because you have let your guard down to them. Betrayal is an expectation of your enemy. You are prepared for it. You are keeping on the lookout for it. You are holding your breath in anticipation of it.

That is the last thing you expect someone you consider a friend or a significant other to do. Take advantage of you at your most vulnerable – most comfortable moment. How do you allow someone into that inner circle again once that level of trust is lost? I still don't have the answer to that question, and honestly wonder if I will ever figure it out.

A Life perfect ain't perfect if you don't know what the struggle's for
Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor
It's call the past cause I'm getting past and I ain't nothing like I was before
You oughta see me now

Some more wonderful words from Alicia Keys. I look at where I am now – and what I have discovered is that all we are doing in life is preparing for the next friendship, next job, next moment that will continue to define who you are. The internships and various jobs I have had may add up to 4 pages, but all of that experience was necessary to get me to the place where I am now, and understand where I now want to position myself. The women I have dated in the past have helped me to understand that I should never compromise on what I wanted in a wife. Everyone that has shaped the story that is my life I owe a huge thanks.

Those experiences that have made me mad, made me cry, made me laugh, and most importantly, made me think are indeed the experiences that let me know that I am ready to take the next step.

In the past, I was of the opinion that I needed to have all of my ducks in a row before I took on anyone else's ducks, but the problem is every time you line up your ducks, another one comes along and screws everything up.

At some point, everything comes together and you realize what you want, and then the Creator will lead you to those things – you ultimately have to take that leap of faith and understand that everything that has happened to you in the past is in the past and you went through it and are stronger because of it.

Call it a lesson learned.

Lies... lies... using lies as alibis
Lies... lies... just a devil in disguise

It's the same game
Played in so many ways
Everyone is the victim too
It's just a waste of time
Made for simple minds
So why do people insist on lies

I'll give my life a different way
Refuse to let myself become a victim
Getting caught you in a vicious web of lies, they can hurt you (lies)
And destroy you, you watch out for lies, just a devil in disguise

Chorus

The nations leaders as well as teachers
Practice lies as a way of life (yes they do)
So think before you speak
Cause what you sow you reap

The truth will always come to light
Will we ever learn one day
That telling lies always bring to matters
Misery and sometimes pain

Chorus x4

Rap
Lies and deceit
Yes its running real rampant
Communities suffering, yo I cant stand it
When we think of lies we tend to think of politicians
But what about the husband whos on a mission
Lying to his wife so he can get it on and get some
Coming back home with a dumb expression
Written on a face that hes guilty as a criminal
Its time to change your attitude
People do you hear me, don't listen
To a funky rhyme thats kickin' knowledge that we need
We lie about our hair
And we know we got a weave
Politicians lie about the things they're gonna do
And everybody's tale affects me and you
A smoker lies about the money that he stole
And a dope dealer never tells you how he got his gold
I guess what Debbie T. is really trying to say
When you break it all down were all the same

I'll live my life a different way
Refuse to let myself be caught up
In a vicious web of lies...

"Lies" - EnVogue

It never ceases to amaze me how people feel like they need to impress me or gain acceptance from me by being dishonest. Do I appear so much larger than life to people that they have to misrepresent themselves to the point of incredulity? Sure, we all have things about ourselves that we don't want to be public knowledge, but let's be real for a moment.

The second you start lying, it becomes a never-ending cycle until you 'fess up or get caught. Maybe there should be a required ethics class starting back in middle school... you know people aren't finishing High School these days, so you need to get it in a bit earlier. What exactly does one gain out of lying anyway? Does it support your delusion of grandeur? Does it make you think someone will trust you more? Is that trust based on your lie supposed to just keep on rolling when you're caught in that lie? Should you be offended when you are on the opposite end of the lie?

To me, it's simply too much to have to think about. I really don't have time to keep up with what I told who, etc... it's not worth it. It's not even worth my time anymore to sit down and recount the most recent tales - but suffice it to say that I'm tired of the crap. BE HONEST PEOPLE!!!

...and by the way, they should have never let Dawn leave the group.

That Midnight Train to Georgia

LA proved too much for the man
(Too much for the man, he couldn't make it)
So he's leaving the life he's come to know
(He said he's going)
He said he's going back to find
(Going back to find)
Ooh, What's left of his world
The world he left behind… not so long ago

He's leaving
(Leaving)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on a midnight train)
Said he's going back
(Going back to find)
To find a simpler place and time
(Whenever he takes that ride, guess who's gonna be right by his side)
I'll be with him
(I know you will)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo)
I'd rather live in his world
(Live in his world)
Than live without him in mine
(World, world, is his and hers alone)

He kept dreaming
(Dreaming)
That some day he'd be a star
(Superstar, but he didn't get far)
But he sure found out the hard way,
That dreams don't always come true
(Dreams don't always come true, uh huh, no, uh huh)
So he pawned all his hopes
(Ooh, ooh, ooh ooh)
And even sold his old car
(Woo, woo, woo)
For a one way ticket back to the life he once knew
Oh yes he did, he said he would

He's leaving
(Leaving)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on a midnight train)
Yeah, said he's going back to find
(Going back to find)
A simpler place and time
(Whenever he takes that ride, guess who's gonna be right by his side)
I'll be with him
(I know you will)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on that midnight train to Georgia, woo woo)
I'd rather live in his world,
(Live in his world)
Than live without him in mine
(World, world, it's his and hers alone)

He's leaving
(Leaving)
On the midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on the midnight train to)
Said he's going back to find
(Going back to find)
A simpler place and time
(Whenever he takes that ride, guess who's gonna be right by his side)
I've got to be with him
(I know you will)
On that midnight train to Georgia
(Leaving on a midnight train to Georgia, woo woo)
I'd rather live in his world,
(Live in his world)
Than live without him in mine
(World, world it's his, his and hers alone)

My love, gonna board the midnight train to Georgia (x3)

My world, his world, our world, mine and his alone (x2)

I've got to go (x5)

My world, his world, my man, his girl

" Midnight Train to Georgia" – Gladys Knight and The Pips

By far one of my favorite songs of all time – not just because it has my home state in the name. Growing up, I merely knew it as just another song by Gladys Knight and The Pips, with an occasional cross-reference to one Mia Herndon that I went to Elementary School with and claimed to be a cousin of Gladys.

My relationship with this song changed in May of 1996, when I completed my 2^nd year at North Carolina A&T – I don't dare call it my sophomore year since it took me damn near ten years to graduate from that place. After that year, I decided that out-of-state tuition, a car note, and rent among other things were all just too much for me to deal with. I accepted an internship in Minnesota, and in doing that, I also decided that I needed to attend a school back home in Georgia since it would be cheaper. My time in Greensboro had come to an end, and it ended on a sour note in my opinion. Driving a U-Haul home to take my furniture and various items not going to Minnesota (basically what wouldn't fit in my car) was probably one of the most emotional experiences I had gone through at a young age 18. During that drive, I had only the radio to entertain me – and during that 5-6 hour drive, "Midnight Train to Georgia" was played on the radio on at least 4 separate occasions. It's not like I had a cell phone to call in and request it either – I heard it in Greensboro as I left town, again in Charlotte, Columbia, SC (stopped to see my uncle), and just outside of Augusta, GA.

Remember Keenen Ivory Wayans popping up yelling "MESSAGE!" at certain points in the movie "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka"? That's basically what I kept on thinking – and for whatever reason I simply couldn't change the radio station. I'm man enough to even admit that I pretty much got all watery in the eyes each time that song played – still do even to this day.

So from that point on, while "Midnight Train" is by far one of my favorite songs of all time, it is bittersweet. I have to reference the song with my failure. Greensboro, North Carolina was too much for me – what the hell would happen if I actually went to LA?

I find myself at another crossroads – one which will take me away from my comfort zone that is Georgia, and the drums and horns that start this song play in my head at some point every day. What if I make a wrong move? I'm not 18 anymore, and bouncing back from a wrong decision will certainly not be as easy. Fortunately I do not have anyone depending on me to eat or for clothes or anything like that, but I'm sure it's down the road. I won't be able to simply sell my car and buy a ticket back home anymore. This decision feels just as important if not more important than my choice of college(s) was years ago.

While I know that I have a support system there waiting for me, there is still that ounce of doubt in the back of my head that makes me want to retreat back to my comfort zone. On the other side, I know that complacency can only take you so far. My plans to venture out on my own business this year came to an abrupt end before it even had a chance to take off. So here I am now moving to Minneapolis again – taking a chance on a small growing company with loads of potential for the future, but leaving a stable, but growing opportunity that I have enjoyed for the past three years.

Let me not forget that I am moving also to be closer to someone that I rediscovered on one of my recent visits. She has been a voice of reason throughout some of the craziness that I have been going through over the past few months, and if there is anything I am looking forward to its spending more time with her.

So my friends, I am posting my last blog as a physical resident of my fair hometown of Atlanta, Georgia. My next post will be from the Twin Cities of Minnesota – one of my homes away from home. I look forward to the adventure that awaits me!

*Note* The volume on this video starts up a bit loud – you might want to turn down the volume in the beginning.

Yes We Can!

No words necessary - just go to www.dipdive.com and you will start saying it too.