What has your yoke done for you lately?

He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life

She musters a smile
For his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize
It never really was

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
And nothing at all keeps sending him...

Somewhere back in her long ago
Where he can still believe there's a place in her life
Someday, somewhere, she will return

She had a place in his life
He never made her think twice
As he rises to her apology
Anybody else would surely know
He's watching her go

But what a fool believes he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
There's nothing at all
But what a fool believes he sees...

"What a Fool Believes" - The Doobie Brothers

I find myself thinking about my last post especially after a conversation that I had with a good friend of mine at my house over the weekend. I don't think it's a secret that I have plenty of single, attractive, female friends. I've never been one to get into their business either unless previously invited. What my friend and I couldn't understand (and still don't for that matter) is why so many of these beautiful, talented, successful women are still single?

Let me also add this - the night before the get-together at my house, I was preparing food and listening to an Anthony Hamilton concert... during one of the interludes, he was talking about how people in relationships let outsiders exert their influence on them. He had one comment that people like to tell people in a relationship that hit home - "Ya'll aren't evenly yoked."

That statement hits home with me because in my opinion the concept of "evenly yoked” has been taken out of its original context and "interpreted" without thinking about the implications of that interpretation (try repeating that 3 times). If you are evenly yoked in all things - spiritually, financially, etc. then what can you learn from that other person? What can that other person learn from you? If you're not learning, then how do you grow?

Ladies, if that man doesn't make as much money as you, is he less of a man? Just because he is sweaty from working outside all day, does that negate his work ethic and dedication to something? The concept of everyone being evenly yoked has made us all think that we need to find a counterpart of the opposite sex to live our lives with. Here's a newsflash: IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. How many lawyers do you see married to lawyers? How many doctors do you see married to doctors? Not that many. On paper, they may be even yoked, so why don't all doctors and lawyers marry other doctors and lawyers? Why don't all waiters marry waitresses? If everyone is evenly yoked, then we might as well adopt the caste system that countries like India are so fond of, and that we as Americans allegedly dispise.

What we are doing is hiding behind “evenly yoked” because we are afraid to actually put in some work for a common goal. We are so worried about keeping up with our friends in terms of car, house, etc. that we're too scared to be starting behind them when we join material assets and salaries. Worried about appearances and how it will look if you go to church without your significant other. Worried about telling your girlfriends that your man doesn’t work for a Fortune 500 company and what they are going to think. Do they have your best interests at heart, or do they have what they THINK is your best interests at heart? Only you know what’s right for you, and letting your friends, family, pastor, etc. unduly influence you with their yoke-o-meter will land you with what they WANT you to have, not what you NEED. If material and financial gain are your purposes for getting married, then you can stop reading now if you haven't already.

I’m not telling everyone to just give up on your aspirations and expectations in a mate, but rather be a little more imaginative. If you’re on the train, and some sweaty construction worker sits next to you, don’t get up worried that his smell will rub off on your dry-clean only clothes – you never know when the powers that be up above have put someone in your presence that could be Prince Charming or Cinderella… if anything, you might find someone that can come and install that ceiling fan for a great price if you talk to them the right way. The money you save there could far outweigh the cost of going to the dry cleaners.

To close things out, I have a thought for you all to ponder, plus a video of The Doobie Brothers performing “What a Fool Believes” live… I thought that the song was appropriate because a lot of us are acting foolishly and need to start listening to our hearts instead of our constituents before we all end up living alone with a pet cat.

“The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for Spring, for Summer, for Fall, for Winter, for the 1st of the 15th of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn…
before deciding to be HAPPY.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination. There is no better time to be happy than…

NOW!

Live and enjoy the moment.”

-Author Unknown

If you can’t be happy with your current situation, why would anyone else want to be bothered with you? Take a second and think about that instead of worrying about being “evenly yoked.”