What does Dr. Phil know?

Cee Lo:
This particular song right here is dedicated to the black woman
And it doesn't pertain to all black women because some of y'all
disrespect y'all selves bcause you don't know who you are in the first place.
This is out of respect to women period

Word up

I'm quite single
And occassionally I mingle
But aside from all the rest
You sparks my interest
No m'aam I don't know you
Just offerin the common respect I feel I owe you
Also, some conversation, companionship
Common ground and common sense
There's no such thing as coincidence
In me findin you here
And I really hate screamin in yo ear
So some other time, OK? (ok)
I waited a day...

Hello, this is Carlito
From a coupla days ago
You sound tired
Forgive me if I call you too late
But what better time to relate mindstate
Where could I begin?
Has anyone ever told you have beautiful skin?
You're more than welcome
What do you desire within?
I just wanna be
There's no need to put titles on you and me
Those are limitations
Livin and learnin are our only obligations
Equality, honesty, independence
Intelligence emotin and devotion
Humbly seekin to hear God when he's speakin to us
A one time my mind just couldn't concieve
A woman had to dress a certain way to believe
But, in the same breath allow me to say
That, if you believe, young lady, you wouldn't dress that way
And I was attracted to your class
I couldn't see all yo ass
And I was very content
You deserved every compliment
Indifferences make us the same
You gotta have some game, or
You ain't even gonna be able to take care of yoself
I love when I look at you, I see my reflection
So I offer my love, affection and protecton
Shawty, you dead fine
But the bottom line is, you still my sista

Chorus:
Well, I say
You're my... beginnin, my end
You're my sista lover and friend
God is your light from within
It shines from your beautiful skin
What they say 'bout you ain't true
There's no me if there is no you
I hope that you understand
You got to respect yourself before I can

Gipp:
I met you and y'all knew
Saw you again on Marietta
Downtown Atlanta
Checkin your long legs, got me smirkin
Fixed me dinner one night, candles lit
Thought you was slick in the beginnin
But it turned out you wouldn't lie
Looked me in my eye
I listened
Sucked it up, pushed on
We made amends
Both sides clicked, true friends
Since then, years done gon by
Brought a baby girl into this world
Made our parents grandfolk
Household with no hope
Took care of ye, you me
When shit got put out on the curb
Closer than the skin on the back of my hand
Through the thick and thin
We can win
Beautiful black skin

Chorus:

Khujo:
No need to compete
With the music loud
Or stairs cold
Put on a scale
Of one to ten, you a twelve
I chose her over jail and hell
Originally from ATL

T-Mo:
Compatible souls come together
Under bad weather
To discuss the mistrust
Amongst the so-called
Good in every woman
How I wish this was true
I deal with facts only
Already done cloned me
Why I sang the blues
When there's only one God that watches over our every step
I need his help
When I'm walkin
Lookin for the right female
I can't tell sometimes
They tell me the devil's comin humble in his approach
Spontaneous with the game
Caught the naive of a girl fallin for the OK
Let the pistol smoke the one you live by
Die by
Examples of how relationships can be

Khujo:
I rolls the dice
Takin a chance at crappin out
Like today boy
I lost one of my best hips
Natural thick lips
No animal fat implants
Wide load
This daughter workin at the airport
19 years old
Worth more her weight in gold
But it was all my fault
So don't cry, understand
And down the line I want you back
But the feelin ain't mutual
Just promise me you'll find a new man
That's bout some business
Hope she find what her was lookin for
Like a ?????
I wanted to be more than friends
Beautiful black skin (black skin)

Chorus
(repeat)

- "Beautiful Skin" - Goodie MoB

I'm no stranger to some of the Internet dating sites that are out there, and my recent breakup has turned me back to surfing through them again on occasion. Lately, all I can do is shake my head at the women that I have been finding on these sites. You say one thing, but your photos say something entirely different. For the sake of not getting sued, I won't show you any example photos, but I'll try my best to describe...

• Example #1:
• Main photo is of a woman in some lingerie (if you want to call it that) laying on a bed. Let's not even talk about the rest of the photos - it only got worse.
  
• Age: 33
• Status: Never Married
  
• Height: 5'8"
• Body Type: Average
• Children: 5
• Quote: I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO CHILL WITH, SOMEONE THAT IS HONEST,FAITHFUL, CARING,RESPECTFUL, FUNNY AND VERY ROMANTIC... ETC...SOMEONE THAT WANTS SOMETHING OUT OF LIFE, SOMEONE THAT IS GOING TO ACCEPT ME FOR ME AND WILLING TO ACCEPT MY KIDS JUST AS WELL.SOMEONE THAT IS NOT ABOUT GAMES...SOMEONE THAT HAS GOD IN THERE LIFE JUST AS WELL... NO PICTURE NO RESPONSE!!!!

I'm all about the full disclosure, but there has to be a point where you have to decide do you really need to interact with anymore men? Do you honestly think any man is going to take what you say seriously? Wouldn't that $49 you just gave the site of your choice be served better by buying one of your 5 children some socks or something? I'm not saying that you don't deserve to find that special someone a ride off into the sunset like every girlie-flick ends... but let's be real for once. There has to be a point in your life when you accept that the decisions you made in the past and live up to the consequences...

• Example #2:
• Main Photo is a headshot with a sephia finish of a woman with a nice smile.
• The rest of the photos are headshots and group photos - no lingerie, no underwear... everything on the up and up.
• Age: 28
• Status: Never Married
• Height: 5'4"
• Body Type: Average
• Children: None
• Quote: I am looking for someone who is financially stable, good hearted, strives to be a better person and enjoys his family. Laughter is so important in life. A friendship is welcome but a long term relationship is what I am ultimately looking for.

Could be construed as dull and boring, but what's wrong with that? Gives you something to look forward to - maybe you'll find that "wild side" when you get the chance to go out. I realize that these are very different and contrasting profiles, but they both point out things that you definitely should and should NOT do when you're trying to catch a man online...

1. DO leave something to the imagination. If we can see you damn-near naked online, it's assumed that you're going to be totally naked pretty soon when we meet offline. How many men have you known to go to a strip club to watch a woman get dressed? None.
2. DON'T list 1000 things that you want your mate to have. This is one I need to pay attention to myself actually... It's fine to have requirements in a mate, but when you have a grocery list, you're going to turn off everyone - including the ones that actually meet your requirements. It comes off as being selfish and not willing to compromise, which is what that relationship (that you so badly want) is all about. Leave the grocery list in the grocery store.

I could probably sit here and come up with several other things to do and not to do, but I think you get the point. Don't tell me about about how much you go to church, but have pictures in your draws online. A great saying that programmers live by - garbage in, garbage out. You don't need Dr. Phil to tell you that for $49.95.

Summer Summer Summertime!

* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" *
* 3 bars of drum beats *
* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" *

Verse One: MC Serch

Real cool.. cause Brooklyn's cool!
Friday doin the last day of school
Girls steppin to the mall to swing
Settin up dollars for their summer fling
Cars on the avenue create gridlock
And there's girls like MAD at the bus stop
Not waitin on the bus, but waitin on the cash flow
Fellas are laughin, gassin the past hoe
Girl steps to me and pushes issue
"That knot you got, is that money or tissue?"
Feelin on the bulge, thinkin it's her own
I tell her that it's money and she should move on
She says she's pure from legs to her thighs
And we should talk over some chinese and fries
I tell her to step, but hey that's the scene
Cause she ain't nothin.. but a Brooklyn Queen

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!


Verse Two: Pete Nice

State the rhyme, borough of Brooklyn
Otherwise known as Crooklyn
Freaks fortify flesh with gold
Ears hang trunk, in a slave hold
Walk past, don't get the time of day
Played like suede, on a summer sway
Conversated, till I made her laugh
Said, "I'm Pete Nice.. you want my autograph?"
Oval Office closed as she heard this
She said, "From 3rd Bass? I could do this"
Listen closely, slowly took a swig of intoxicants
Cause the Brooklyn Queen's a gold digger

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

Verse Three: MC Serch

Squared away.. with my digits and tonight's plans
When I feel a crab grab my right hand
Slapped her on the back, tried to calm her
Asking her, "Now what's the reason for the drama?"
Her next move was straight out of textbook
"Haven't we met before?" Giving me a sex look
Yo Wisdom, your lyrics are in bad taste
So I'm forced to give you nothing but the Gas Face
You better go, for hoppin on the cab or bus
Cause you're downtown and you're simply too fabulous
But get this, ain't this a humdinger?
She stepped to a retard sportin a four-finger ring
Somewhere in the skin tight jeans
I'm gonna scoop the best of the Brooklyn-Queens

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

Verse Four: Pete Nice

Last exit to Brooklyn I enter
Carefully the Queen holds my scepter
Gettin numb like a Derelict on scotch
I'm Dick Lewis, cause baby I'm watchin you
scheme on a brother for a knot
To choose between the have and the have-not
Do you doubt the shade of vanilla?
I'll play Elvis and you play Priscilla
Oh he's no hero, better yet Billy Dee
Advertise cheap liqour for a fee
A Brooklyn Queen, rushes Russell Simmons
That's like Tyson rushin Givens

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

"We are looking for 'Brooklyn'..
We are looking for the.." Brooklyn-Queens!

* Daddy Rich scratches "Brooklyn!" repeatedly over drum beat *

* 3rd Bass says 'Brooklyn-Queens' (3X) *
[MC Serch] Who's on Prince Paul's cactus?
'Brooklyn-Queens'
[MC Serch] Hahaha, yeah check it out
'Brooklyn-Queens'
yo, 'Brooklyn-Queens'
* Daddy Rich keeps scratchin *

- "Brooklyn Queens", 3rd Bass


I was sitting at home last night about to call it a night and I started listening outside... basketballs bouncing, kids yelling... bikes screeching... what the hell? Isn't it 11:15 at night?? Don't they have school in the morning??

Then it hit me - I went to my cousin's high school graduation on Friday, so that means school is out for summer! It's this time of year when I want to be a teacher. If money were no object, I'd be all on it - summers to go run around and stay up as late as you want... makes you think to back in the day when you were doing big things if you had a job at Lenox or at Six Flags (I maintained employment at both places at one time or the other...*clears throat*).

Brooklyn Queens used to be one of my favorite songs that made me think of summer, but I have to give 3rd Bass a slight demotion because of my experiences with New Yorkers and other Yankees chronicled somewhat in this link. Having spent summers in the south (GA, FL, NC, SC), the midwest (MN, IL), the mid-Atlantic (DC, VA, MD), and the northeast(CT, NJ, NY), I can confidently say there's nothing like the dirty dirty between Memorial Day and Labor Day. You know why I say that? Central air conditioning. None of that window unit crap with the streamer tied on the vents to make it look like you're really moving some air. Forgive me for not even really having a topic here, but I was just having flashbacks of conversations with people up north that live down here and want to actually compare life in the A to life up north... Plain and simple, there is no comparision. I learned more running around in the back woods of Madison County Florida than I ever would have in NYC or Chicago... all you can do up there is sit on the stoop and hope for a bus to drive by fast enough to draw up a breeze. I had trees to go run under, rivers to stick my feet in, and if it got too hot, some lovely air conditioning to go inside to (that "air conditioning" was in the form of a 2-speed fan at first... we all gotta start from somewhere). The point is, I grew up with options. It was hot enough to scramble eggs on the sidewalk, but you could set your alarm clock to the 3:30 thunderstorm that was sure to cool things down. By 4:15, you were back outside where there were no signs of a storm unless you went up under the trees.

Summertime just isn't what it used to be. I was given things to do over the summer that I actually did... these kids don't want to be bothered anymore. Summer Camp, Vacation Bible School, knocking out the summer reading list... it all beats getting up and going to work everyday. Now I have to wonder if I will be coming home to a bunch of kids that have nothing to do everyday except case my house and then decide when they are going to break in...

(sidebar)
This may be messed up, but I just called a local alarm company about an installation... they claim to cost only $12.95 per month, so we shall see how that ends up...

Back to the pleasant thoughts of summer... basketball in the park, going to Florida to spend time with my grandparents, even the running around Six Flags driving their truck and burning their gas... it was such a carefree time compared to current times. Don't get me wrong - I don't "long" or wish that I was 14 years old again... I'm enjoying the hell out of the new crib with 2 cars in the garage... It's most definitely better to be grown and sexy than young and walking around with a white t-shirt that looks like a dress. Here's the best summer anthem... and the nest song DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince ever released. I tell you - we all need to go to HIS family reunion.



Kids, I hope you enjoy your summer... I'll be counting the days until I see you sitting in the front of my subdivision getting picked up by the cheese-wagon. Don't come asking me to wash my car for $5, or to buy any candy for your school - game recognizes game, playa.

What do you get for someone that's turned 250,000?

In honor of my good old 1997 VW Jetta turning over 250,000 miles yesterday afternoon, I present one of my favorite Jetta commercials...

Click Here.

Some of you may know the Black Jetta as Jade - I have no idea where that name came from, or why you all insist on calling it that, but oh well. The white car is to be referred to as "The Miracle Whip". So far it has not lived up to the formidable reputation that Jade has established for Jettas.


With only 87,000 miles, I am about to sink more into the new car in one year for repairs than I sunk into Jade over 4 years for repairs and regular maintenance. Go figure. Just goes to show you that they don't necessarily make them like they used to - even 10 years ago. We'll see ya at 300K soon!

Maybe I should read my horoscopes more often.

(same song is playing from yesterday...)

Here are my Horrorscopes for today and yesterday:

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Isn't it funny how something you find annoying in a friend is the very same thing you don't like about yourself? Stop projecting and do some self-examination instead. You might just get to the root of all this brouhaha.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Assuming everyone else has a perfect life is a surefire ticket to Self-pityville. However, facing facts will get you out of there on the express train. Everyone has problems. They're just all different.

***

It has always amazed me how horoscopes can manage to stay vague enough to grasp your attention when something is going on in your life that you desperately want to get resolved. The messages for today and yesterday however have forced me to alter my thinking somewhat - am I orchestrating the very thing that I cannot stand to have in my life?

"What is that thing?" is probably the question on most your minds right now... well I will tell you.

I can't stand drama.
I loathe conflict.
I hate any disruption of my somewhat harmonious world and will avoid it like the great plague with almost reckless abandon.

So adding that "philosophy" if you will with the horrorscopes of the past two days makes me ponder the question, "Is my desire for happiness in my life interfering with the possibility of actually achieving that very same goal?"

What I mean is this - in the past, my reaction to conflict has been to withdraw from it, study it, and then make an informed decision/statement if the conflict itself hasn't subsided already. It could be construed as a punk maneuver, but if you ever conflicted with my father, you would want to sit back and wait for it to subside too (entirely another story for another day). If you look back at my adopted manifesto, you will see that my desire for no conflict feeds seamlessly from this. If you have to ride in a boat and you get seasick, it's usually best to keep it from rocking as much as possible. You still have to ride in the boat. Mike said it best - "I'm a lover, not a fighter."

Now back to yesterday's post. I think that I regressed about ten years back when I sent out an email to a large group of people when I was upset with an organization that will remain nameless (the names are changed or concealed to protect the innocent, or more importantly the guilty indeed) and I sent out an email expressing why I was upset since I didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the organization management. While it did finally get some attention, it was not attention that was needed to come to a positive resolution. I got nothing but backlash and accusations from people that ultimately had already bought in to the organization's way of thinking and thus anyone thinking otherwise was not treated kindly. Yesterday's blog was no different - I typed before thinking and before discussing with the people the blog was directed towards. In turn, I received some hefty backlash from one of the people that took the hint, the others probably haven't even looked back at the Evite, much less this or any other blog of mine. I am assuming they are a lost cause for now and if they want to step back into the theater, then it's up to them to open the door themselves now - I tried opening it for you, and as far as I can tell it was slammed back in my face.

As for the one that left a comment - because of our conversation yesterday, I will not publish what you had to say because admittedly what both of us wrote was based on assumptions that we made. Have we not learned from Samuel L. Jackson?? I still don't know who Umption is, but I do think that I made an ass of myself. I don't want or need the conflict in my life, and I now realize that my desire manifests itself in what seems a cruel, "I'm not talking to you" fashion. It has been my experience that if you take a step back and breathe for a second, you can get a new, refreshed look at the situation and better understand how you got to where you are. Maybe realize why you brought that person into your theater in the first place. If you don't understand where you're coming from, you will never get to where you need to be. While head-on conflict resolution works for some people, it does not work with me. I do not scream and yell - it runs my blood pressure up. I simply shutdown. It's such a waste precious energy, and I choose to use my energy for positive endeavors. Worst of all, you end up saying something you don't mean down the road. On the other hand, writing in anger is not good either. You make assumptions, you might hurt your fingers and/or keyboard while typing, and you'll probably end up saying something that you'll regret later.

So pretty much, I'm screwed unless someone else has any bright ideas. Going on a talk show is not an option, so don't even mention it. And I'm certainly not going to Self-Pityville - doesn't sound like a nice enough vacation spot for my tastes.

Some Evite Etiquette...

If you want something to play with
Then go and find yourself a toy
Baby, my time is too expensive
And I'm not a little boy

If you are serious
Don't play with my heart, it makes me furious
But if want me to love you
Then, baby, I will, girl, you know I will

Tell it like it is
Don't be ashamed to let your conscience be your guide
But I-I-I-I-I know deep down inside of me
I believe you love me, forget your foolish pride

Life is too short to have sorrow
You may be here today and gone tomorrow
You might as well get what you want
So go on and live, baby, go on and live

Tell it like it is
I'm nothin' to play with, go and find yourself a toy
But I-I-I-I-I
Tell it like it is
My time is too expensive
And I'm not your little boy

FADE
Mm mm, tell it like it is

"Tell It Like It Is" - Aaron Neville

Not to read into the lyrics too much, but it gets a very good point across. So I don't make you sit here and read until your eyes dry up, I'll go ahead and get to the point, which is this - if someone invites you to an event they are throwing... or better yet if I invite you to an event that I am throwing - it's not out of spite, malice, feeling sorry for, or anything along those lines. I invited you because I wanted to see you and hopefully share in a fun evening - something that probably wouldn't happen under normal circumstances if we were alone. Some good public interaction would hopefully lead to a positive working friendship down the road - everything and everyone has to have a starting point.

To tie in the Evite etiqutte, as a general rule, when I respond to Evites, especially when I cannot attend, I will at least take a moment and say "Sorry, I have other plans already" or "Can't wait - see you then" - nothing too fancy, but enough to let the host know that I appreciate the fact that you thought enough of me to invite me to your event. It's the least you can do.

By simply putting down that you're not going to attend and not sending any other information my way gives me a few notions:

1. I don't care to be around you and your friends and family.
2. I don't care to be bothered with you.
3. You repulse me and you're lucky I even responded.
4. You have a lot of nerve to want to see me after not contacting me in the past.

I could go for days speculating about what is going on, but wading in the past is not something I'm too fond of these days. To quote Mr. Joel as I do so often, "The good 'ol days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems..."

My point is this - if we were friends in the past we can be friends again in the future. Someone has to take that first step, and then it's up to the other person to take the next one. Tell it like it is - if you don't want to be friends with me, then let me know and I can move on with my life and you can move on with yours.