It was the third of September.
That day I'll always remember, yes I will.
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died.
I never got a chance to see him.
Never heard nothing but bad things about him.
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth.
- "Papa was a Rolling Stone" - The Temptations
My thoughts are multifaceted today. First off my thoughts and prayers go out to Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy and his family as they deal with the loss of their son, James. I am sure more details of what happened are forthcoming, but now is not the time or place for rumors and other malicious thoughts about the Dungy family. I cannot think of a better public role model for African Americans and just people in general, and it is certainly a tragedy to lose a child especially during the holidays. I watched several programs on TV seeing Tony interact with this children, and it is truly inspirational to see a good parent despite all of the pressures of the media and his workplace.
Having said that, my thoughts today really surround some of my female friends that happen to have children. One in particular is having to deal with unforseen medical expenses, and the father is no where to be found (and legally responsible for the medical insurance of course). Another friend has been forced to retain a lawyer simply to get child support for their child. It makes me sick to my stomach to see these women have to struggle because these weak ass men can't man up enough to throw a little money in the mail for their defenseless child that's totally oblivious to the situation. You've been blessed with the gift of life, and you're wasting time not trying to spend every moment you can with your child. Regardless of your relationship with the mother - you liked her enough to concieve a child. There aren't enough Tony Dungy's to go around the world - so quit making excuses for why you can't pay for this or you can't come visit, and be a man and a father to your child. All you're doing is creating a vicious cycle of children that hate their father, and in turn take that frustration out on the men that they interact with in their adult life (for girls), or end up mistreating women because they don't know any better (for boys). No one is asking you to be Bill Cosby - just accept the responsibility and be a parent. It's not that hard - and you might find out that you like it.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
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1 comment:
Excellent post David and soooo very true. I definitely feel where you are coming from because so many young men, especially black men, are not taking care of their responsibilities. If you are man enough to do what it takes to create a life, then you should be man enough to raise and nurture said life. Especially when life is the greatest gift we have been granted by the creator.
My thoughts, prayers and admiration are with the Dungy family because thru all of this they have shown faith, caring and class, all essential components of great parenting. Great post!
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