“That Girl”… or maybe we should change it to “That Dude” or something…

That girl thinks that she’s so fine
That soon she’ll have my mind
That girl thinks that she’s so smart
That soon she’ll have my heart
She thinks in no time flat
That she’ll be free and clear to start
With her emotional rescue of love that you’ll leave turn apart

That girl thinks that she’s so bad
She’ll change my tears from joy to sad
She says she keeps the upper hand
cause she can please her man
She doesn’t use her love to make him weak
She uses love to keep him strong
And inside me there’s no room for doubt
That it won’t be too long

Before I tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

I’ve been hurting for a long time
And you’ve been playing for a long time
You know it’s true
I’ve been holding for a long time
And you’ve been running for a long time
It’s time to do what we have to do
That girl, that girl

That girl knows every single man
Would ask her for her hand
But she says her love is much too deep
For them to understand
She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word

That why I know I’ll tell that I love her
That I want her
That my mind, soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

Tell her I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her love

That I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to...

Tell her that I love her
That I want her
That my mind and soul and body needs her
Tell her that I’d love to, that I want to
That I need to do all that I have to
To be in her...

That girl, that girl, that girl,
Oh, that girl, that girl, that girl, that girl...

“That Girl” – Stevie Wonder

I have made it public knowledge that I am the self-proclaimed King of “Can’t-take-a-hint-land”, and it pains me to think that after all of these years that I still suffer from the same affliction. If you have been keeping up with some of my past posts, “Does that make me craaaaazay?”, Part II, and Part III, I had met a young lady last month that had gotten my attention, especially after I got to go out with her. To wrap that one up, I basically tried to go out again, and kept getting “Sorry, I have plans already” and that kind of stuff… I’m not one to go forcing myself onto anyone’s agenda, but in general if I like someone, I am going to squeeze in some time to hang out. I don’t propose changing your trip to Brazil or anything, but some lunch or a baseball game isn’t too much to ask… but of course I can’t take a hint.

So anyway, a few days before my grandmother went in for surgery (reference this post for that), I was driving home and good ol’ Mr. Wonder comes on the radio. “That Girl” comes on – one of my favorite songs… but sometimes you have to have something on your mind to make the words sink in…

“What are you talking about?” You might be asking… well I’m referring to my friend that I have been confiding in all this time – been very understanding and helpful in keeping me sane in one of my past relationships, and even now. I don’t want to sit here and jump the gun and say that I’m ready to get involved in a relationship again after dealing with two that didn’t go very well in a short amount of time, but I definitely need to follow my own advice for once… quit going out looking for a relationship. Gain a friend first, then if it’s meant to be, the relationship will flourish. How did Stevie create this epiphany for me, you ask?

She says her love has been crying out
But her lover hasn’t heard
But what she doesn’t realize is that I’ve listened to every word

These lines speak to it somewhat. Don’t sit back and think that I am professing my love for anyone around here. I just think that the young woman that was making me craaaazay wasn’t the one I should have been looking for a response from. Someone else is out there and I need to find her, plain and simple. It’s just so hard to see that someone that you thought were vibin with all of a sudden just drop you like you have a virus or something. It was crude, but what happened to the “break up note” (laughs)? At least you knew to quit trying, it ain’t gonna happen, playa.

Well, suffice it to say I’m going to lay low for a while. I have other goals, aspirations, and responsibilities that I need to tend to. “That Girl” will come across my path soon enough, if she hasn’t already… perhaps she’s still listening to every word.

Since it IS Friday, I don't want to start the weekend sounding all depressing... so here's another one of my favs from Mr. Wonder...

A Song for Mama

You taught me everything and everything you've given me

I always keep it inside

You're the driving force in my life

Yeah

There isn't anything or anyone that I can be

It just wouldn't feel right

If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me when skies were gray

Whenever I was down you were always there to comfort me

and no one else can be what you have been to me

You’ll always be

You will always be the girl in my life

Chorus:

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(Oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

Lovin' you is like food to my soul

You're always down for me

Have always been around for me even when I was bad

You showed me right from my wrong

(yes you did)

and you took up for me when everyone was downin' me

You always did understand

You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times looking back when I was so afraid

and then you come to me

and say to me

I can face anything

and no one else can do what you have done for me

You’ll always be

you will always be the girl in my life for all times

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like

Tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

lovin' you is like food to my soul

Never gonna go a day without you

Fills me up just thinking about you

I’ll never go a day without my mama

Mama

Mama you know I love you

(oh you know I love you)

Mama

Mama you're the queen of heart

Your love is like tears from the stars

Mama I just you to know

lovin' you is like food to my soul

“A Song for Mama” – Boyz II Men

About six and a half years ago, I woke up on a Friday morning (February 18^th to be exact) and was headed to my Legal Environment class at Georgia State on time for a change, and before I could leave the phone rang. The Caller ID had my grandparent’s phone number come up. Today was my Uncle Don’s birthday, and Saturday would be my mother’s birthday. My mother was on an assignment in DC and was flying back to Atlanta in the afternoon, and I had planned on picking her up from the airport and taking her down to Florida since we all had been trying to go down and see her for the past month. Y2K was out of my sights, and since I had to work most of the holidays, it was time to make that up and go see the fam.

Back to the phone call – I answered the phone thinking it was strange to hear from them, but hey at least the number on the refrigerator didn’t go to waste. The voice on the phone wasn’t my grandmother – or my grandfather. A second later the woman that called handed the phone to Granddaddy, and he told me that my Grandmother passed away that morning. I literally talked to her less than 12 hours before. I called to see what she had planned for the weekend since I was going to surprise her – you have no idea how many times I would “pop” in town and both of them would be out of town… and you thought I traveled a lot. Shock, grief, disbelief only began to express how I felt that morning.

It’s amazing that it has been so long ago. “Mother” always told us that she wouldn’t always be around, so you better learn what you can from her while she was here to teach…

Fast forward to today… I type this sitting in the hospital waiting room as my other grandmother, “Mama” lays in the Vascular Intensive Care unit after she suffered a stroke coming out of surgery to prevent the very thing that happened. If there is something positive to take out of this – first and foremost, she is still alive. Secondly, of all the places to have a stroke, you can’t beat the hospital.

Not too soon after my grandmother’s death in Florida, “Soul Food” came out… perhaps my dates are off, but whatever. One of my best friends commented to me one day that the character Ahmad reminded him of me in real life because of my attachment to my grandmothers. Back then I was honestly insulted. How are you comparing me to some 9 year old kid in a movie? Over this past week, I must say that I now see where he was coming from. I could even draw some parallels from that movie to my family here in the A. Even some of the drama – but that’s for another day. All I care about right now is getting my grandmother out of the hospital and seeing to it that she makes a full recovery.

Does that make me craaaazay??? Part III

(“Crazy” is still playing… I wish someone would quit playin with the repeat button!)

So, 22 days after the initial meeting… countless phone calls, countless emails and some other stuff I don’t want to count (so I call it countless), we finally go out. Forget the picture – I think the proper term is, “doesn’t do her any justice.” I should have made her drive so I could get some good looks in, considering how long it has been between opportunities to see her, but beggars can’t be choosers, eh?

Nothing too fancy for the first time out – dinner and a movie. Keep it simple, stupid.

Her: “Have you seen the new ‘X-Men’ yet?”
Me: “Actually, no, I haven’t.”

At this point, I’m shocked that SHE suggested the movie… it did come in handy since there wasn’t anything out there that I was just dying to go see.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many (many = zero in this case) women that would want to see a movie like “X-Men”, much less actually suggest it themselves – Bonus Cool Points have been awarded.

Here’s the ultimate – at the end of the movie, there was a huge thunderstorm going on outside (thanks to me washing my car 48 hours before… just outside of the rain check guarantee that the car wash place gives out)… I didn’t have to wait for the storm to end, or go out and pull the car up to the door for her – she covered up her hair and ran out to the car with me!

Up until this point, I was taking the stance that if it doesn’t work out, we’ll just charge it to the game (a Silkk the Shocker reference for you No Limit fans…) and hope that at least a new professional contact was gained. But what do I do now? I certainly had no plans of pursuing yet another relationship at this point. My past three relationships have all ended with less than stellar results, so I’ve decided that maybe I need to take a step back and rethink things. Get a new strategy together. There has to be a better way to date… or better yet, a better way to have a relationship. One where you’re not guessing what the other one thinks about you from minute to minute.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Does that make me craaaazay??? Part II

(same music playing in the background… just turned down a little bit)

OK, so the last blog actually happened over a month ago. About a month before that, I found myself single again because of a cat, a two-year old, and a doctor that wouldn’t refer the two-year old to an allergist. July turned out a whole lot different that what I thought it would be like when I was looking ahead in March.

Anyway, that Monday morning at 1:43PM, guess who I got an email from??? Wow, I didn’t screw up that bad after all – I can’t think of a better way to start a Monday… and believe me when I tell you that I was in need of a gooooood Monday for a change.

A few weeks go by, and conversations take place… Can I meet someone that doesn’t have connections to my friends? Why is she a friend of one of my roommates from college and his wife? *shakes head* Atlanta is nothing but a big ‘ol country town where everybody knows each other for those that grew up here. I’m starting to recall memories of why I left Atlanta for Greensboro back in the day…

A few MORE weeks go by… dang, why haven’t I asked her out? I could take the safe route and blame the party at my house, and the network conversion at my job, and maybe even the rain (I don’t care what you say, “Blame it on the Rain” was a great song – I don’t care if Milli Vanilli sang it or not). She seems to keep a pretty busy schedule as well, so I could even say that I’m not sure if she’s even interested anymore…

This is where things get weird. Doubt sets in. All those nervous jitters from the first meeting are blown to proportions you’ve never seen before, or thought were possible. Why do we get stupid in the head when we meet someone new? In all honesty, at this point if she walked up and slapped me, I might not know it was her unless she said something – it’s been that long since I saw her, and I was slightly inebriated if you recall.

She sends me a photo – whoa. Is this the same girl? I’m really trippin now. This is Atlanta – I know she has a line of men waiting for just a little bit of attention.

*imagines a bunch of men on their knees chanting “We’re not worthy, we’re not worthy…”*

...or maybe I'm crazy.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Happy Birthday, Phyllis.

Just a quick note to say Happy Birthday to the late Phyllis Hyman, a woman with truly one of the most beautiful voices I can think of. Phyllis would have been 57 today, and I’m sure at least 6 more albums deep in an already awesome collection.

Anyway, I will continue with yesterday’s blog a little bit later… please enjoy the incomparable Phyllis Hyman with Grover Washington, Jr. with “A Sacred Kind of Love” from 1989.

Does that make me craaaazay???

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably

“Crazy” – Gnarls Barkley AKA Cee-Lo

You’re at a wine tasting event. Running in and out of the place giving your friends directions while getting rained on. In between phone calls, you are sure to refill your glass with the closest bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot you can get to. Your underclothes are sticking to you like no-one’s business. Hopefully no one can tell. The friend of a friend that you were supposed to be meeting turned out to be a wash – you knew that from the second she walked in the building. At least they will leave you alone about meeting her finally. Good, now back to this one young lady I saw back in the corner pouring wine…

Still there? Check.
Still pouring wine? Check.
Cute from a distance? Double-check.
Did she just catch me looking? Check.

Oh well, she saw me looking now, so I HAVE to go over there, right?

*walks over*
*random conversation*
Did she just spill wine on me?? What is SHE drinking…
*more random conversation*
“What side of town do you live on?” (what the hell am I asking her that for?)
*other random silly questions*

OK, at this point, I’ve screwed this one up… let me take my exit and… well, I’m not going to bother asking for a number, but let’s throw up a hail mary…

“Here’s my card – shoot me a line or give me a call sometime.” (hmmm… is she even single?? I’ve been drinking too much)

*continued random conversation*
*walks away*


TO BE CONTINUED…