Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer...

"Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer.
Then I came home to a woman that I could not recognize.
When I pressed her for a reason,
She refused to even answer.
It was then I felt the stranger kick me right between the eyes." - Billy Joel


One thing about being single is the fact that you have to make too many decisions. There are too many possible better choices just around the corner. Being an indecisive Libra, having so many choices can make me uncomfortable, and usually ends up with me not making the best choice for me. This weekend turned out to be an instance when my making the wrong choice didn't come back to hurt me in the end (at least it hasn't yet).

Friday, I was supposed to be meeting a young lady after work and got stood up. To add insult to injury, while I was waiting at the meeting place, my ex walks in and does everything in her power to ignore me (Apparently, we aren't at a point where we can be civil with each other, but that's another conversation.). At that point I was completely thrown out of sorts and really just wanted to go home. Before I did that, I called a special friend of mine that I have gone out on a few dates with before. Our conversations have been some of the most stimulating conversations that I have had in a very, very, very long time. She's even gotten me to learn a few Merengue and Bachata steps - and any of my friends should be incredibly impressed with that. When I am with her, I feel like I can talk about anything for once in my life and not feel like I am being constantly judged. I felt bad about calling her because I didn't want her to feel like she was a last resort or something. We already talked about taking things slow and seeing other people in the meantime, but it took someone standing me up to realize what I had in front of my eyes already - and I thank the both of you for my education this weekend.

I always have to be careful using someone else's words to convey my thoughts, but I think that my dating experience over the past few years has been summed up very well by Billy Joel in his song, "The Stranger":

Well, we all have a face that we hide away forever
And we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone.
Some are satin, some are steel,
Some are silk and some are leather.
They're the faces of a stranger,
But we'd love to try them on.

Well, we all fall in love,
But we disregard the danger,
Though we share so many secrets,
There are some we never tell.
Why were you so surprised that you never saw the stranger?
Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself?

Don't be afraid to try again.
Everyone goes south every now and then.
You've done it.
Why can't someone else?
You should know by now.
You've been there yourself.

Once I used to believe I was such a great romancer.
Then I came home to a woman that I could not recognize.
When I pressed her for a reason,
She refused to even answer.
It was then I felt the stranger kick me right between the eyes.

Well, we all fall in love
But we disregard the danger
Though we share so many secrets
There are some we never tell
Why were you so surprised that you never saw the stranger
Did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself.

Don't be afraid to try again.
Everyone goes south every now and then.
You've done it.
Why can't someone else?
You should know by now.
You've been there yourself.

You may never understand how the stranger is inspired.
But he isn't always evil and he is not always wrong.
Though you drown in good intensions,
You will never quench the fire.
You'll give in to your desire when the stranger comes along

...


One thing that I need to learn (especially with my indecisiveness) is that we all still put on the face of a stranger when we are dating, and to stop looking for some greener grass and instead try to cultivate the grass I'm on already. I've been giving into my desire too much and not giving the time and respect that certain people are worthy of. That is something that will definitely change starting now - no need to wait until next month for a resolution.