Beware of the ATM Line Bandit.

It's 3:55pm. Wachovia will post your deposits at the ATM on the same day if you do it by 4 pm. I leave work early so I can make this deposit - didn't go to lunch to boot. I get to the drive-in, and this jack-ass come running up to the ATM and walks in front of my car to go the ATM.

I blow my horn at him.

"I was here first!" the idiot barks back at me, sounding almost like Archie Bunker.

The bastard then proceeds to do three different transactions with three different ATM cards.

It took every ounce of by being not to just run him over. I put the car in gear... even revved the engine a little bit.

Good thing for him the consequences outweighed the pleasure and benefits of feeling my Goodyears run over his fat, nasty, inconsiderate self. He must be from up north. I also think being able to take this picture also made me feel a little better... please know that I am going to post it everywhere I can think of.

Turns out there weren't any envelopes at the ATM anyway - unless the old geezer took them all when I wasn't looking. Anyway, if you see him coming, watch your back.

The Wilson Doctrine

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say its a crazy scheme
This ones for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

Chorus:
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind

I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home

Chorus

This is the night
Of the expanding the man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I'll be what I want to be

Chorus

"Deacon Blues" - Steely Dan

Perhaps the realization that my 30th birthday is right around the corner has sparked yet another reflection on my life and times, or maybe it's just Wednesday. Who knows. Today's post may end up being totally contradicting of itself by the time I finish, but oh well. With apologies to my Fifth grade teacher, I currently have no desires to run for President of these United States, so I may flip-flop a bit. As I enter my third decade of existence, there are certain things based on past experience that I will from now on choose not to indulge anymore. Look at it as my own Monroe Doctrine or personal foreign policy if you will.

1. Drama is not something that I aspire to produce or be a part of. I may have attended a school that has a Performing Arts magnet program, but my life is personal, private, and simple. I have no desire for creating an uproar about every little problem or issue in my life. All I really want is to be happy. Only I can make that happen, so there's really no point in worrying the rest of the world about my issues.

2. Your car, your title, your degree, your bank account, etc. do not impress me. If this is something that you feel you must flaunt in front of me all the time, it only makes me think you're trying to overcompensate for other shortcomings... eventually I find them - usually a lot faster than the average idiot you run into on the street.

3. I will go to Waffle House and get a order scrambled with sausage for dinner way before I will go to whatever fancy-spancy restaurant so I can be "seen". At least I know I will go home on a full stomach.

4. New Yorkers are hereby eliminated from consideration for serious dating. I love to visit the city, and I hate to lop off a major part of the population... but it is what it is... I'm just too country for you city-girls apparently. I will wear my overalls when I want to, and there's nothing you can do about it.

5. While I'm eliminating people from consideration for serious dating... all members of a certain African American sorority are hereby eliminated. No need to stir up trouble here - but if it comes up and I find out you belong to that sorority, please don't take it personal. I'm just done trying to make it work out. We fundamentally don't get along for some reason, and I'm done trying to figure it out.

6. Volkswagens rule. No need to comment on this.

7. My musical tastes will forever include far more than what is played on V-103, Kiss 104, Hot 107.9, 102.5, and Praise 97.5. If I want to blast Maroon 5 in my car with the windows down, please find something better to do with your time than look at me with disgust as if I've sold out to the man or something. My blackness will never be in question. Your ignorance will.

8. I do not intend to go to church every Sunday. I am secure in my personal relationship with God first and foremost. Until I find a place that I feel doesn't have a hidden agenda, or is trying to entertain me on Sunday morning with a light show and interpretive dance, etc., I will be more than happy to spend my time with myself and the good book, or whatever material I choose. If you can't respect that, what kind of Christian does that make you?

9. Road-trips are a way of life. If I have the time and ability to drive, I will. You will die when it's your time to go, but what if you're on the plane, and it's the pilot's time to go?

10. I love myself. If I don't why should anyone else?

That's it in a nutshell. Perhaps I will amend this doctrine as time goes by, but here are some basic principles that I have adopted and have guided me to where I am right now. I am not going to let someone pigeonhole me into what their image of what they want me to be. It's far too late for the shaping and moulding part of my life, and you wouldn't have made it past my parents even if you tried. So take it or leave it - the ride is taking off for the next stop soon, space is limited, so decide if you're still down for the experience.

Unitil next time...